Mountain Tales
by LilyCanBeMyPyjamas
Summary: Setting: Nearly two hundred years ago. A group of six people lead a livestock up on the mountain and will look after them for the summer. It will be a fateful one.
1. The Map that leads to you

**Okay, so I am back again with another story. I'm trying something completely new here, both story wise and in writing technique, so tell me if it's shit.**

**The thing here is that we're going back in time. Like far back in time. Before electricity, before cars, before school for everybody… Yeah, you get the memo, it's nearly a couple hundred years, without me saying exact when. That's not important anyway.**

**The other thing is that I'm going to put a lot of quotes and dribbles I've collected from authors or things I've seen on tumblr to wove into what I'm writing. So basically, I don't own the characters nor a lot of what I'm writing, but what I do own, is the way I've put it together though, so that's something...**

**I know a lot of you want a sequel to Straight forward, and we're lost at sea, and I'm thinking about it. That's all I can say :)**

**The authors I've taken some of the words from in this chapter is Charles Bukowski and e e cummings. Cudos if you spot it. It's not literally quoted, nor will the following be, but I need to manipulate it to fit. Hope you like this.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: The map that leads to you<strong>

Two figures in worn out shoes moved along the highway. The dust from their footsteps swiveled in the air in their wake. With first eye glance you would think it was two boys walking alongside each other, chatting, laughing and playfully bumping into each other. The slighter smaller one had short, rich hair, while the one who looked a bit butchier had shorter sandy hair and a wild laughter that one probably could hear for miles. He was wearing a stylish hat on top of it, and had dressed his somewhat dirty white shirt with a brown vest over his broad shoulders. The smaller hadn't dressed up with such, but had a half-decent jacket over a cleaner shirt, a bit too big. And they were both wearing brown trousers, a bit too high around the ankles.

If you gave them a second look though, you would see that the smaller one had more feminine traits about her, than masculine. It was actually a boy and a girl, walking the deserted road, taking corners around groups of trees as they went on. But those who knew them, would never look twice at their similar manners, despite they being of different genders.

"So what do you think Cook, gonna be as eventful as last year?" the girl peered over to the boy, noticed the glint in his eye at the question.

"Heck yes, I hope so Blondie! New faces has to mean farce." the boy chuckled, took off his hat and ruffled his scruffy hair, before placing the piece of felt back on top of it.

"You're probably right. You looking forward to going back up?" she asked. She already kind of knew the answer, but was curious about if the inn had grown so much on him that maybe he would rather spend the summer there with the rentals.

The boy picked a straw from the edge of the road, placed it in his mouth and peered at the sun. "Yeah, I kind of miss the pasture when it's been so long. Miss the stillness and the independency."

"As much stillness it can be with so many people cramped in a small cabin." the girl huffed, kicked a bit of gravel.

"Aah, don't pout of the coziness in the hut." the boy slung an arm around the girl's shoulders, "I feel good about this summer, this day. Yes, it's pregnant." The girl couldn't help to laugh at this. "And don't try to tell me that you don't miss your quiet afternoons under that tree of yours?"

The boy was right, she did actually miss those couple of hours under that tree each day. It wasn't such an hardship as she would have it be.

"I sure do, Cook."

Soon, they arrived at their goal, greeted by a slim brunette sitting on the fence of one of the entrances to the farm. She had long, curly hair, and it had been that way for as long as the girl could remember, along with her knowing smirk. She was, as always, dressed in a fine fitting dress.

It was a prosperous family owning the farm, the Stonems. They had a great deal of animals, and such numbers needed occasionally the extra hand with the work. Some of their horses were currently walking in the enclosed area behind the shape on the fence.

"Hi Eff. The others here yet?" the girl asked Elizabeth.

"Yeah, they're at the back. Just arrived." Elizabeth smirked, skipping the greetings as usual.

"So how are they like?" James plunged straight in, leaned over the fence to see if he could catch a glimpse of them.

"There's one boy and two girls. Sisters." She answered him, but kept her eyes on the girl as she did. "So we're going to be in the profits this year, Naomi."

Naomi shrugged at the comment. "It's not like girls are any worse at the work than the boys."

"Too true, Blondie, but you're only saying that cause you're halfway man anyway." James laughed, having turned around on the fence to face her.

"Hey!" Naomi yelled, offended. "Take that back, you big pig." she shot back, joyfully. James only grinned. It was what they did, really. Insulted each other. But it wasn't unheard of, as they were basically brother and sister after all these years.

"Kids." Elizabeth said calmingly after Naomi had swatted James over the head.

"Alright alright." James surrendered. "Eff, is the wagon ready to go? Did you get all the stuff Gina sent over yesterday?"

"Yes, it's all packed and ready." Elizabeth reassured. Naomi felt her shoulders loosen up a bit at that. The only tension left was meeting these new people that would accommodate them for the next months.

"So who are those kids anyway? Someone we know?" James inquired. The town they lived on the outskirts of wasn't too big for it to be unlikely.

"Some rich mans children from the upper class in town."

"What? Why are they here then? Don't they use their summer vacation on playing clarinet or traveling Europe?" Naomi said sullenly. It was no secret that she was opposed to what the wealthier part of the population could manage with a little extra money here and there.

"Don't know." Elizabeth shrugged.

"This is going to be interesting." James said as he started swaggering towards the main houses on the farm, the two girls close behind. And that statement, that was the truth.

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><p>It was necessary to lead the Stonems' livestock up on the mountain every summer so they could eat protein rich grass. But since that's what they were, sheep and goats, they still needed care and protection. So each year a group of young adults saw them up the mountain and stayed for the summer, since the Stonems' had other matters to attend down on the farm. That's why always one of their kids accompanied the others, and with Anthony having moved to another part of the country, it was Elizabeth who handled it now.<p>

The boy and two girls ambled around the corner of the main house, and saw the newcomers standing with the wagon they were bringing along for the ride up. Anthea called the lot over, for proper greetings.

"Here are the experienced kids that will lead you up the mountain and show you how to do things up there. This is my daughter, Elizabeth, and these are her friends Naomi Campbell and James Cook." Anthea introduced.

"Just call me Cook." James said.

Naomi glanced over the three other kids. They were all dressed in clean clothes, not exactly fitted for the task at hand.

"And this is Jonah Jeremiah Jones and the twins, Katherine and Emily Fitch."

"JJ for short is okay." Jonah said quickly, scratching his curls.

Naomi's sight shifted to the twin, obviously Katherine, and saw her confident stance, the straightness of her back and figured she was not one of those you should be doing any funny business with. Her eyes raked quickly over her face, her deep eyes and her long dark hair which was tied up. Sizing her up. Katherine Fitch seemed like one fearless woman.

And then Naomi looked towards the twin that was standing slightly behind her sister, Emily. And as soon as their eyes met, Naomi's breath hitched, of unknown reasons. Emily quickly averted her gaze to her feet, looking unsure and like she didn't own half the boldness Katherine obviously sported. Naomi slowly dragged her eyes over her posture, noticed that she was skinnier and more fragile looking than the twin, and greatly noticeably so. Her dress was nice, though. Brownish with patches of white, and it didn't cover her long, smooth neck. Her brown hair was also tied up, but there was a sad pout to her mouth. That slight frown made Naomi ache on the inside. Suddenly Emily's warm, brown eyes shifted back to Naomi, holding her gaze. It was intense, coming from such a small girl, and it told another tale completely than the rest of her body did. Her eyes were big and attentive, perfect to drink in everything around her. Naomi realized that she looked like a girl, but soon came to find that she likely were a flame. A flame so bright she'd burn your eyes if you looked too long. Naomi looked the other way.

Naomi looked to James instead, noticed that he didn't look too impressed with their company for the summer. Wondered if that was because they looked like wimps, all three. Couldn't ask while everyone was listening.

After the pleasantries, they made the wagon ready, saddled two donkeys that was going to drag it, and secured the load in the back of it. It was mostly food and the belongings of the youngsters.

Effy was to ride the wagon, steer it up the mountain road behind all the animals. James was walking in the front, and they brought two dogs with them to keep the animals on the right track. Naomi and Jonah carried some of the stuff that wasn't room for in the wagon, and the twins had just the task of getting themselves to the goal. Their garbs weren't made for the walking but it would have to work.

As James had signaled for them to move, and had got the whole of the herd in motion, Elizabeth started the donkeys for the wagon to go, and the rest of them idly followed, waving goodbye to Jim and Anthea who stood with the back gate to the mountains, seeing them off.

They moved through a region of forest first, a clear path between the trees have been made from the years of animals drifting through here. Katherine had managed to talk herself into sitting next to Elizabeth on the wagon, which was a great relief for Naomi, so she didn't have to listen to her complaints. Emily and Jonah had been walking next to each other for the most part of the trip, Naomi walking a bit further back, not keen on forcing a conversation with them. But when Jonah moved to walk beside the wagon and started asking Elizabeth about what seemed like details of what was in store, Naomi saw her opening and purposefully fell in stride with the smaller twin.

She hadn't exactly heard her voice before, just small murmuring when she talked to Jonah, indicating that her voice was low.

"So, are you looking forward to a summer up on the mountain?" Naomi asked kindly. Emily's eyes met hers again, and that burning sensation returned, along with another sensation.

"Sure." Emily shrugged, looking at Naomi for a few more seconds before settling them back on the slope she was walking on.

And despite the noncommittal answer, Naomi recognized the second sensation. It was one she'd had before, a long time ago, when she met James. It was a click. A click that signalized that this person would come to be important for you, in one way or another. It was that undeniable, special feeling you got when you were in their presence. Emily Fitch would be more to Naomi than just another worker alongside her up on the mountain, because there had been a click. And maybe because she had never seen such eyes like those belonging to her. They were remarkable. The voice of them deeper than all roses.

And this had Naomi tongue tied for the rest of the long trip, the knowledge that Emily meant more to her than she should.

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><p>By the evening and after the last sunbeams had travelled over the hills, they reached the small cabin situated in a high, wide valley. The livestock were finally free to roam the fields outside and rest after their travel. Everybody worked together to get all the cargo into the house before the night. The cellar was filled up with food, mostly grains, and their belongings was taken into the living room. Elizabeth took control of placing everybody in rooms, stating that she and the twins would be sharing one, and Naomi with the boys in another room. Each room had one double and one big single bed, and since Naomi and James were basically siblings, it wasn't a problem for them to share. Jonah looked a bit apprehensive of the arrangements, but stayed silent about the issue. Elizabeth sent Katherine to get wooden logs so they could fire up the stove, warm some water to make tea. The rest of the lot tidied up the cabin that had been vacated since last summer, and arranged their sleeping situations.<p>

Finally they settle down in the living room, huddled around the small table there where they had lighted an oil lamp. James did, as always, take the silence as a challenge and started asking questions and talking about the fields around the cabin where the livestock would graze. Jonah was especially interested, and it came to the point that James found an old map, settling it over the kitchen table and the two boys stood hooded over it for a long time. Katherine and Elizabeth also seemed to get along, talking about each others outfits and hair and girly stuff. Naomi was actually a bit surprised that Katherine seemed to bring out an actual interest from the brunette, even though the twin did most of the talking.

And whilst all this happened, the flies walked up and down the windows and Naomi and Emily drank their tea and pretended to not look at each other.


	2. Haunted to be wanted

**Thanks to everyone who has read, followed/favorited and especially to those who reviewed! Those who respond shall receive, and that's why I'm so quick with the next chapter.**

**In this chapter we have some RM Drake, someone from tumblr calling themselves 'A E', a chunk of Jane Austen, Og Mandino, Charles Dickens and Albert Schweitzer. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 2: Haunted to be wanted**

Emily was a girl who was quiet most of the time. If it was a personal trait or a side effect of being the twin of one Katherine Fitch was unsure, but Emily was acquainted to staring and thinking. Her words often got frozen within her lungs. She believed that her thoughts were deadly, that there probably was a quarantine surrounding her lungs. People tended to ask her sometimes, after she and her sister had grazed them with their presence for a while, 'why are you so quiet?'. Emily always just waved it away. Smiled, laughed and shrugged. To keep the suspicion off of her.

Emily was quiet most of the time, but her mind was loud. Her mind was screaming. Emily sometimes wished she wasn't quiet, wished she shared her emotions easily, like her sister. But she didn't know where to start. Her words got frozen within her swollen lungs. She found herself in awe for storms. Because even the sky had to scream sometimes. And she wish she could too.

Of course Emily was full of insecurities, like most girls her age. But she discovered that her disconnect from the world around her was never because of those insecurities, but rather the emptiness she created when she failed to make sense of herself. But since she'd laid her eyes on those azure blue irises, the pieces had slowly begun to click into place.

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><p>Emily was sitting alongside her sister, and then Elizabeth, with a stream a few stone throws away from the cabin. They'd been up on the mountain for some days, by now getting familiar with what needed to be done around there. Emily had been on the food task for the most part, and had along with Jonah started planting vegetables and flowers on a dirt patch outside the cabin. And now there was time to clean everyone's clothes, hence why the three girls were defying the cold of the melting glacier water to wash shirts and trousers and dresses and undergarments.<p>

A bit further down, well in the line of sight of the three girls but out of earshot, was the rest of the people, working on setting up a solid fence around a little pond the small river was making. They didn't want any of the herd to fall in and drown, as the swimming abilities to sheep and goats were slim to none.

It was a hot day, and if Emily wasn't elbow down in cold water, she would be sweating. It certainly looked like the three digging in the ground further down was. Not that Emily had been looking or anything.

The thing was that she noticed everything. She just acted like she didn't.

Katherine had been endlessly chatting beside her, almost uninterrupted by input from her or Elizabeth. She decided to tune in on the chatter.

"I mean, why would she even like to dress like that. It's so untraditional, not in tune to how it's supposed to be at all. I've never seen a girl dress in such a manner before, so unfashionable and so _manly. _Wouldn't she want to take advantage of actually having a nice body to dress up? With actual dresses? I would rather show myself naked than in those rags. It's okay that she's poor, but doesn't her parents give her own clothes? Are she sharing with Cook or anything? Distasteful either way. I reckon I'll stay away from her, so I don't contain her ineptness infection or something."

Great, she was bashing Naomi again. She had something against the blonde, and Emily could both understand it and not. She understood that this kind of unconventionality was hard to swallow for her sister. She had sadly inherited most of their mothers controversiality. But at the same time she couldn't.

It's not that she had exchanged more than a few polite or necessary words with Naomi over the past few days, but she hadn't gotten a picture of the blonde containing any of the spiteful words Katherine was wasting about. Quite the opposite actually. She would love to talk more to her, but she didn't dare. Couldn't help but think that what she would have to say would be uninteresting or boring.

While Emily had been lost in her thoughts and in the same time straying her stare down towards, yes you guessed right, where the blonde was working, Katherine had continued bashing Naomi's style of clothing. She tuned in again, just catching Katherine addressing Elizabeth.

"Don't you agree, Effy?"

Elizabeth just smirked, look down towards the others, before scooting a bit forward, looking past Katherine.

"What do you think, Emily?"

And just like that, the question had been thrown at Emily, who didn't want it at all.

She instinctively looked towards Naomi, trying to win some time. And just at that moment, the blonde girl decided to stand up straight, wipe some sweat of her forehead and take a deep breath. Emily could see the sweat in her neckline even from where she was sitting. Was transfixed by it, by the girl in herself. How could anyone think that she was disgraceful just because she wore clothes that wasn't normal for a girl? It wasn't like she was showing herself off. Maybe it was more practical for her. Maybe just because she preferred it. Whatever reason, it should be eligible.

Emily was quiet, but not blind. She had surely seen how Naomi dressed like a boy, even acted more like one sometimes. And unlike her sister, she didn't find it repulsive. But how could she possible dare to voice that?

Emily believed that she was a coward. She was always ruled by her sister. Did what she was told to. Always complied.

But Emily wasn't a coward, far from. She did these things because she had a soft heart. Wouldn't want to cause any trouble. Would do anything for those around her. And she didn't realize that having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.

She did all things with love, everything from caring for her beautiful flowers she planted to steering away from a row with her sister. She tried to have a heart that never hardened, a temper that never tired and a touch that never hurt. So incredibly gentle and compassionate.

She was like a candle, burning herself up to give others light. Not expecting anything in return. But sometimes lights go out, and Emily had felt her flame burning low. A good thing, then, that lights can again be blown into instant flame by an encounter with another human being. With _one _human being.

Emily realized that she was for a certain getting lost in her thoughts, and was still actively staring at Naomi's muddy skin. Felt the expectant looks from the girls beside her.

How could she begin to say to her sister that Naomi didn't look ugly in those clothes, and that how people dress wasn't an important part of who they were at all? She was still stalling for time when Katherine huffed, clearly done with waiting for an answer from her useless twin. Declared determined that Naomi was a lost case, and she wouldn't find a decent husband with _that _choice of appearance.

Emily sighed a breath of relief for getting away so easily. She was accommodate to lying, but she didn't know if she could manage lying about this. Always felt that saying Naomi's name made her lungs collapse in on themselves.

Soon after, they were done with the washing, trekked inside to get started on dinner while the others finished up with the dirt. When they had finished dinner, which was some kind of porridge again, since they wanted to save the more decent food, Katherine went out on the doorstep and called the others inside for food, loudly warning them that she would throw a rolling pin on their head if they brought any dirt inside. That earned laughter from James as he staggered inside, thankfully free of mud.

As always, they ate together at the large kitchen table alongside the window. Emily had gotten a permanent spot by the window next to her sister, with Naomi right across from her. Since she had tried to keep down from being a creeper and shamelessly staring at the intriguing, taller girl, her eyes was trained on the landscape outside.

It truly was beautiful around the cabin. They weren't at the top of any mountain, just in a somewhat flat area between two mountain (as James had told them) where there were a lot of grass for the animals to indulge in. The cabin was laying above the tree line, so in theory there shouldn't be any trees this high, but there was one tree she could see from where she was sitting. It was where Naomi rested every day after dinner, alone. Sometimes other times of the day too. She had often glanced at her as she laid there, wanting to go over, but wouldn't dare. Never dared.

Elizabeth and James agreed to clean up after dinner, undoubtedly with Katherine hanging around them. She had taken a great liking to them. She was obviously friends with Elizabeth by now, as she always would talk a hole in her head about whatever she could. And she had always hung around the cute boys, and that was no exception with James.

Jonah came up to Emily, asking if she wanted to go out in the garden with him. Of course Emily agreed, knowing that Naomi soon would disappear down to her tree very soon, so there was no point in hanging around and getting chores from the others.

They huddled together around the sprouts, trying to remember and figuring out what was what. Jonah had just brought one book up with him on the mountain, where Emily had brought a couple. His book were solely about mountain plants and flowers. He was greatly interested in biology and plants, more so even than Emily. But Emily mostly liked it because of the calmness she felt when she worked in the garden, while Jonah was obsessed with similarity between flowers. What family they belonged to. Which was related. Where you could find them. Anything.

He was in a rant of some plant or other, hunched over his book, when Naomi walked out of the cabin. Emily shyly saw it from under her fringe, the way Naomi froze for a split second when she saw them. Hardened her jaw. Dusted her hands off on the back of her trousers. Before being in motion again, swiftly moving around the corner, undoubtably going to her tree.

How long could they so elegantly dance around each other before having an actual conversation?

The dry mold slipped through Emily's fingers again and again as she looked towards where Naomi disappeared and half-listened to Jonah. And that's when she realized.

She realized that her bones were made of the same dust as the mold that was effectively running through her fingers, her lungs were breathing the same air as the migrating butterflies, and her blood was pumping because of the love and care of thousands. She realized that maybe she weren't as broken as she thought she were. She's full of the world.

And it consoled her for now.


	3. Holocene

**Thanks to all the guest reviewers. I wish I could send you a personal message to convey how happy your words make me, but this will do. I really appreciate all the feedback.**

**In this chapter, a few of the female authors come to their right. Well, more than in the first two. We have Lemony Snicket, Joyce Carol Oates, Sylvain Reynard, James Thurber, someone from tumblr called 'AW', Emily Haines, an extract from Perks Of Being a Wallflower written by Stephen Chbosky (Haven't read it, but the film is amazing), Roald Dahl, which is a childhood favorite of mine, and Emma Bleker.**

**Holocene is such a beautiful word, with an even more beautiful meaning. _The age of men. _When you sit and think about how long we have existed in this world, you feel a bit insignificant. Listen to the song by Bon Iver.**

**Chapter 3: Holocene**

After about two weeks, James declared that they should climb a mountain. He was insisting that the newcomers couldn't just stay down here for the entire summer. It was an experience to stand on the top of a tall mountain, and he wanted everyone to feel it. Naomi knew he was so urging because he, himself, missed the feel of knack after wearing his body out like that. It was a better view up there than after digging in the mud for an entire day down here.

Jonah, which James surprisingly had taken under his wing, was ecstatic for this idea. Naomi learned that it was because he would find even more species of different plants up there, and zoned out of that conversation quick enough. But what could she do, everyone for their hobby. Elizabeth, known to be the free spirit, surely wasn't opposed to the idea, although it was rare for her to take such walks. She was mostly content staying in one place and studying the people around her.

Emily quietly agreed, and Katherine loudly opposed before she, too, was persuaded by an over ecstatic James. James always knew how to work the charms on the girls. Mostly Naomi scoffed at it, but when it earned her a mountain trip instead of doing dirty work for a day, it was entirely okay with her.

They took their backpacks and packed some food, flatbread and some vegetables, to eat on the way. And so it went, James, Elizabeth and Naomi in the front, bumping into each other as they went, laughing at life in itself. The two dogs walked in between their feet, wagging their tails. It was in these situation Naomi was really grateful to have these two mates. Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it is, because you know people who have similar experiences as you. And _thank god _Naomi voiced inside her head, that these two was here for yet another summer.

And while the birds chirped where they jumped from one shrub to another and the chinchillas roused in the undergrowths, Naomi thought about how lovely the world really was, really. One simply has to look.

She kept glancing around her, appreciating every spectrum the nature had to offer both in sight and hearing gifts, almost forgetting she was in the midst of a small bunch of people. Katherine loud cackle broke her out of her revery though, and she turned around to find her and Elizabeth lagging behind. The boys had trekked to the front, James' arm casually thrown over Jonah's shoulders, telling him a wild story by the demeanor of them.

She finds Emily walking along by herself. Her mouth was slightly pouting again, like she was overseen by all and everything. Naomi realized she was a mess of gorgeous, silent chaos, and you could see it in her eyes. God, those eyes. So open, so attentive. Emily moved gracefully in between the rocks, keeping on the trail, but straying off it if she found some thing or another too interesting to resist. Naomi could reward herself with noticing these things as she walked slightly behind the petite twin. And she couldn't keep her eyes to herself either way, because she had always had a terrible weakness for beautiful but sad things. And as she'd come to notice was the thing about Emily, it was that beautiful things don't ask for attention.

She decided to give it anyway.

"It's not too though of a trail for you, is it?" she started the conversation as she fell in stride with the girl.

"No, not at all, I can hardly mind it when it's such a fine day." Emily shyly smiled. She had slowly but surely been loosening up around Naomi in the last time. And Naomi was certainly glad for this. Didn't mean they had found meaningful conversation drifting between them though. Either way, Naomi figured she had to start somewhere.

"You're quite right. The best time to climb a mountain, the first days of summer is. Soon it will be too hot."

"Yeah."

They still walked beside each other, Naomi telling Emily to watch out for loose rocks in steeper parts of the track. Naomi couldn't think of much to talk about, and Emily wasn't giving her the greatest response. She wonders if she stays this way because she wants to give Katherine room to be. Wonders if that has made Emily smaller in appearance than she really is. Wonders if she's got bite marks on her tongue from all the words she never said.

Soon Naomi recognized they were not far from the top, and as that last piece of hill disappeared under her feet, she saw the mountains rise around her from the east to the west. It was a sight for kings and queens, and the air so crisp, you would think it was a fresh morning all day around. Luckily the last bit of ice had vacated this mountain, but in far sight she saw mountains still clad in that white top. She could see for miles, miles, miles. And it took her breath away, knowing how big the world is, and how small one pumping heart is compared to that.

She turned to Emily, watched her take in the surrounding landscape, watched her look towards where you could see sea in the distance, watched her twist her neck back and forth to take it all in. The others were at the other edges of the top, leaving them with a little breather.

"At once you see this view, you're reminded that you're not magnificent." Naomi said, as of breaking the ongoing silence that has been between them for a couple of minutes. She wanted to indulge Emily on this, for a reason. Tell her how insignificant they were in the big picture. But little had she expected the sad and broken look that swept over Emily's face at those words.

"I don't need a view to remind me of that." she whispered, not taking her eyes of the bulky horizon. The tone it was said in brought heartache to Naomi, and it felt like a big knife was stabbed right to her chest. It was not what she meant at all, that Emily was not magnificent in that sense.

She could see it in her reflective brown eyes, that Emily was not happy. And probably hadn't been for a while. She didn't see her own worth, and that really killed Naomi.

But most of all, it bothered Naomi that no one has had the patience to deal with someone who is just sad. She wanted to open her mouth to tell Emily everything would be okay, that whatever was hurting her would become bearable, that there was a light in the end of the tunnel. But could she speak of such when she didn't know if it was the truth? There was only one truth she knew of. That stars can't shine without darkness.

Before Naomi could do anything about the heart tugging answer the brunette had worded into the breeze, there was a call for her from behind. Naomi turned abruptly, her eyes seeking Jonah who was stood half hidden behind a big stone bar, watching something behind it.

"Emily, quick, you got to see what I found!" he shouted, like it was a matter of life and death.

Emily turned too, and reacted to quickly for Naomi's liking. She wanted Emily to stay, wanted to say something to her that mattered, that would make things better. She stood confused back, watching Emily walk away from her, to Jonah who soon started ranting about a flower or plant or growth or _something _insignificant as opposed to what just _was. _

Her mood soon turned sour as she stood watching them, talking so freely. Naomi couldn't for the life of her understand why Emily rather would be around Jonah instead of her. He always overshadowed whatever feeble attempt of contact Naomi inquired. But Naomi guessed we were who we were for a lot of reasons. And maybe she'd never know Emily's. That was just a fact she'd have to learn to live with.

And even though she wasn't who Emily chose to be friends with, she couldn't help but feel lucky that she at least came this close to her. She remembered her mum told her once, when she was little that _above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. These who can't believe in magic will never find it. _And now, finally, Naomi may just come to the conclusion, after looking into swirls of brown in the eyes of another human being, that she believed in magic. That the greatest secret there was, was right under her nose.

Out of nowhere, Elizabeth slandered up to Naomi's side, scaring her away from the task she was doing, which mostly consisted of watching with prying eyes what Emily and Jonah was up to. Her eyes were wild and disordered when they met calm and occult blue. Elizabeth looked towards Emily and back to Naomi again, reading into the lost and confused stance of her friend that there was a tension that lingered in the air. Not that Elizabeth hadn't picked up on that before now, no, she had seen it. Could see more than most of them knew. Knew what they were just now starting to grasp. So she answered just like she could, urging Naomi to take steps towards where she was meant to go, but not pushing her.

"Emily seems nice. Doesn't say much, though."

"No." Naomi sighed, keeping her stare fixed on the small brunette. Suddenly Emily turned around and catched Naomi's eyes. Elizabeth knew that this glimpse set both of their chests on fire. And she pitied them endlessly for the world those feelings originated in, but envied them never the less. Because it was a feeling she was certain she would never ever feel herself.

She couldn't let Naomi catch on to this, though, therefore she answered, "If you're lucky enough to be her friend, your life gets better every day."

When Naomi turned to her with a questioning frown, Elizabeth merely shrugged. She knew Naomi wouldn't wordily question her, because Naomi knew, she _knew, _that what Elizabeth spoke, that was the utter and simple reality. And this was the simplest truth there were.

As James came in between the two girls and leaned in to first kiss Naomi on the cheek, then Elizabeth, Naomi's eyes drifted back to Emily, contemplating Elizabeth's words.

Naomi wasn't aware of it herself, but those around her could see it; she was a hurricane of a girl. And as the warmness of the girl standing meters in front of her reached her body, she remembered that she had to breathe every once and a while to not drown within her own storm. So that's what she did. Breathed.


	4. Silent prayers for the faith departed

**Hi guys! I've been a bit vague with the time that's passed in this story, but in my head it's been some weeks since they arrived the cabin. But you could make up your own mind about it, no worries.**

**As always, thanks again for all the feedback. It makes me really happy to know that people read this and enjoy it too. Cheers to you.**

**We have some Anne Frank, 'The perks of being a wallflower' quote, Justin Taylor, Jill Price-Gray, Albert Schweitzer, Anne Michaels and Rainbow Rowell.**

**Chapter 4: Silent prayers for the faith departed**

This world is full of distance. Or, at least, that's how it seemed for Naomi.

Naomi had wanted to talk to Emily these past few days after the mountain trip. But she wondered what was the point anyway, when someone else was on her mind and on the tip of her tongue. She always watched them together, her and Jonah, where they sat either snuggled up on the couch pouring over his stupid book or taking strolls together up the valley to look at flowers. And it knotted her stomach to the point where it hurt. But the worst part was that she couldn't explain why. Why it tensed her. Why she always sought her out. Why she cared at all.

In the evenings she more often than not ended up playing cards with James over who got to do the worst duties the next day. And when she did, she always seemed to throw sidelong glances towards where Emily was. And it wasn't like she _always _was with Jonah. No, it just seemed that way, because whenever it happened it made Naomi's blood boil to a degree that it was hard to forget for a while.

But no, in the evenings Emily seemed to withdraw into a corner of a bench, usually with a small, well-read book. And whatever knots Naomi may have worked up inside herself seemed to loosen at this sight. Because in the end she could see through Emily, see through her silent role in it all. She had made notice that Emily was a smart girl, always understood what happened around her, and certainly managed to keep up with Jonahs ramblings. She probably thought a lot, but she didn't say much. Emily didn't think anyone really noticed her, but oh, Naomi did. She certainly did.

But Naomi didn't do anything about it. What could she do? It didn't seem like Emily was the easiest to converse with, and Naomi was rarely the person who took great initiative on that front. And if she got shut down again like when they were on the mountain? There was simply too much face to loose if she started bugging the quiet girl, and she wouldn't want to impose if her presence wasn't wanted. And this was a new and weird outlook on a friendship, or communication in itself, from Naomi's part. Because initially Naomi didn't care what people thought of her. She probably could have snapped at Katherine easily, and walked on without another thought about it. But, oddly enough, she cared about Emily's opinion. Cared about what she would feel regarding anything Naomi might do.

Naomi had no one to talk to about this. Well, in theory, she had Elizabeth and maybe even James if he could stay serious for more than three seconds, but no, Naomi didn't talk about these things. Feelings. She was afraid to portray a more pathetic and pitiful version of herself. Even before the only two, along with her mother, who would possibly understand. And having even let this many people into her life, wasn't self-given on Naomi's part. It wasn't that she was anti-social, far from. She just couldn't stand people. Honestly, she had a hard time finding people she liked, since people in itself were the cause of all the troubles in the world. And she was opposed to the great gap between high class and the poor. Not to talk about how the rich threw away all their money on wasted matters. But she also found that most poor people was unintelligent and narrow-sighted too. Naomi could talk about this stuff for hours.

She liked her mum, James and even Elizabeth because she could see the good person they were underneath. Because she had actually taken the time to get to know them. Or, rather, she was forced to get to know them, living in such proximity. But either way, she loved her mum and James deeply. She felt that she maybe had a bit of a road left with Elizabeth, but that was rooting in her mysteriousness and the fact she lacked of bonding abilities almost to the same grade as Naomi did.

But no matter how much time she had had with these valuable people in her life, she had never felt such a pull towards another human being as she did with Emily. Maybe that was why she had started the habit of making evening food to set on the table, originally for everyone to take, but mostly because she knew Emily would always grab a slice of bread with cheese on and give Naomi a small, shy smile that without a doubt made her stomach churn.

Naomi did these sweet things all the time, but she was kind of graceless about it so people didn't notice. She'd always comment extra on dinner, or special parts of it, if she knew Emily was part of making it. She sometimes moved a lamp over to where Emily was reading a book and nibbling on her bread so she could see better, but always explained it away with '_the room needs more light' _if someone gave her a questioning look. And she'd always yearn to give Emily a hug whenever she spotted that forlorn look on her face. But she couldn't. Because she didn't have the right. And maybe she'd never have.

Naomi snorted to herself and turned away from Emily and back to the game with James. What was it her mother always said? _Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. _Bloody true words that was.

But why was it that Naomi was afraid she was easy to forget?

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><p>Early one morning after breakfast, Naomi went to her tree to rest for most part of the day and look after the animals. She, James and Jonah was done with the fence around the pound, and it wasn't anything that immediately needed to be done around the cabin, so they had given each other a day off to relax and do whatever they wanted. Naomi thought it was about time as she couldn't have stood another second down in that mud.<p>

As Naomi sat down on the grass, she ruffled her hair, fresh from being washed this morning. It was reaching just below her ears at this point. She wondered if she should let it grow long this time, but then thought better of it. It would just get unpractical for working. Then she unfastened a button on her shirt and rolled up the sleeves of it, as it was quite a hot day.

She leaned back on her elbows, and looked over the green valley with white dots of sheep and goats cluttered everywhere. This place was perfect for keeping track of the animals as it was situated slightly up one side towards a mountain. She could see Katherine and Emily down there, milking one of the sheep. She faintly recalled that Elizabeth announced she was going to make some cream and cheese today, and guessed that's why they where down there taking some of the milk that originally was for the baby goats and sheep. It seemed there were at least six cute, small baby animals being born everyday. And Jonah was in absolute glee every time, starting to obsessively talk about the miracles of life. And Emily. Emily would always stand in the background and watch the birth with interest and a small smile. Naomi had spotted her checking up on the small woolly creatures subsequently, and it always brought a smile to her face.

Naomi was smiling of the thought where she was sitting gazing over the fields, and mainly one small twin petting a baby goat while Katherine struggled to keep one stubborn sheep-mum at one spot. And as hilarious it was to watch the unsuccessful milking, she couldn't keep her eyes of that small form of Emily. She sighed to herself. Sometimes she was certain those who were happy knew one thing more than she did. Or one thing less.

She laid back and glanced at shapes in the clouds for a while, her mind racing with visuals. Visuals originating from the other day.

The girls had been out all day picking flowers to decorate the cabin with as Naomi, James and Jonah had finished up the fence. And as they had drifted to the small river to clean off most of the dirt, Elizabeth and the twins had returned. And if someone had told Naomi that there was a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair, she wouldn't have believed it before she spotted Emily then. The beauty she illuminated in that moment, was the greatest Naomi had ever witnessed. It was like she got this glow over her after doing something she loved. And Naomi was certain she would never see anything like it again.

She thought more about Emily. Pictured her brown eyes. Her small and neat dresses, and how she always brushed her fringe out of her face. Pictured her small hands, and how they expertly worked while she was out in the garden. How she did everything with meaning.

Sometimes Naomi let herself get carried away with these thoughts. She marveled in them, because she knew that even when reality was far from how she wished it to be, she could easily fix it in her head. So she let herself have these moments with Emily in her mind. And she didn't beat herself down because of it. Because thoughts were thoughts, and they wouldn't be known and they couldn't hurt anyone. They were hers, and hers alone.

Naomi pictured a girl who made every moment, everything she touched and everything around her feel lighter and sweeter. She simply pictured Emily.

Footsteps in the crisp grass behind her broke her out of her trail of thoughts, and it didn't please her at all. Everyone knew that this was _her _place.

She bet it was James either way, that he was probably tired of hearing about Jonah's plants. He was probably there to bug her, to make her do something _fun _with him. Well, she had been with him nearly every moment of the day lately, not to talk about that they slept in the same room, and she needed a breather to herself. Needed down time, to catch up with everything. And that's why her brows knitted together as she opened her eyes and squinted at the light sky above her.

She wasn't in the mood for James right now. Had more important appointments in her head. So she set her jaws and made a defensive remark that hopefully drove him away to torment someone else.

"I like to be alone." Naomi snarled and heard the footsteps stop slightly above her. She sighed angrily. Couldn't believe James was so stupid to disturb her here, when he _knew _she came her to be alone.

"Oh, right. Sorry." Came a weak and slightly husky voice from behind her. She could've recognized it from anywhere, the way it made her heart do a double take. Quickly she craned her neck to surely see, yes, it was Emily standing fiddling with her fingers, about to turn and leave her.

"But I would rather be alone with you." Naomi was hasty to say. To keep her here.

Emily stopped the turning motion, and her eyes shifted to Naomi's. She smiled shyly. A smile Naomi found herself returning as Emily yet again changed her course and carefully sat down beside Naomi.

And Naomi didn't second guess why she was about to chase away James but in the blink of an eye welcomed Emily to her sacred place.

.

.

**So yeah, obviously the story will pace up in the next chapter. And the plot will thicken. It was originally meant to be a longer chapter, but I split it in half (haha, sorry, just wanted to give you something tonight.). **

**Good night and sleep tight! Hopefully I will, and I'll try to be back soon. xx**


	5. Morning Reflections and Evening Shadows

**Hiiiya! I wanted to get this out before I travelled to England (yay!) this weekend! So it will probably be a while till next update. Also school is starting to get crazy, just so you know if I suddenly go MIA.**

**Anywayyy, thanks again for all the comments, follows and favorites. I'm glad you like my new style, although I still have some troubles getting used to it.**

**In this chapter I have used Ray Bradbury, Michael Davis and a little snippet from The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks. Haven't read the book or seen the movie, but gotta change that soon.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Morning Reflections and Evening Shadows<strong>

They sat in silence, under that tree, listening to the bleating from the fields. The sun was shining through the leafs hanging above them. In the distance they could hear the rare burst of laughter coming from the boys, mainly James.

Emily had tucked her knees to her chest, and was resting her chin on top of them. Her eyes strayed from the nails on her fingers to the mountain tops, but rarely did she dare turn her gaze to the side of her. It was such a brave act of her to even come her.

Naomi though. She had perked herself up on her elbows, and tried to keep her eyes on the animals in front of her. But the more she tried, the more side glances at Emily she stole. She had a thousand question, diverging from why she's here to the more intimate and personal questions.

Most of all she wondered how Emily got so empty. Who takes it out of her. Why she presented herself as this shell of herself. Because Naomi was sure of it, what she had seen wasn't even an inch of who Emily is.

As Naomi yet again had casted a long glance at the figure next to her, she realized that Emily spoke to her with words and she looked at her with feelings.

"Huh, sorry?" Naomi was quick to shake herself out of her uselessness. Emily bit her lip in uncertainty, but repeated herself nonetheless.

"I was just wondering if there's anything major we have to do in near future?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like the fence. Anything else we have to do? Because I can help out. It gets boring hanging around the kitchen and garden all the time. If you want and need help of course."

Naomi smiled weakly at Emily, liked how she nonchalantly inquired she was up to other things than what was seen as standard female tasks.

"We have to cut some hay further into the summer to dry before the Stonems take it down for the winter. But it's nothing special until then unless something comes up." Naomi shrugged. "Just the regular tasks."

"Okay." Emily looked directly at Naomi now, her hands slowly stroking up and down her legs. Her dress was very pretty, Naomi decided. She hadn't worn this one before. The skirt of it was dark brown, and there were a nice collar to it, with details of blue threads. And it looked expensive.

"Nice dress. Must've cost your folks a fortune." Naomi said, gesturing to Emily's wear whilst she tried to sound casual. She wouldn't want to come off as a judging, small-minded girl.

"Oh." Emily looked down on herself, pleasantly surprised of the compliment. "It's my favorite. I got it for my sixteenth birthday."

"So what's the occasion?" Naomi wondered.

"Occasion?" Emily looked at her with slightly furrowed brows.

"You know, wearing your good clothes and everything." Naomi did a kink of her neck towards Emily.

"Oh, no. It's just that I have yet to wash up the others." Emily said. And it wasn't completely a lie. But she had also worn this specific dress because she felt the weird need to look good.

"Alright." Naomi agreed straight away.

Emily shuffled a bit where she was sat, but not of uncomfortableness. She just looked for topics she dared pursue.

Even though there was a certain awkwardness, the one following being in the presence of someone you've hardly talked to, it wasn't unnerving or disturbing. Rather the opposite. It was almost electrifying, but still there was this undeniable calmness seeping around them. None of them had any urges to be anywhere else.

"So Emily." Naomi started, deciding to jump right in, "What defines you?" It was a validate start for the more deep topics. The start of getting to know Emily.

"Nothing." Emily simply stated. Giving Naomi a look that she wasn't, indeed, avoiding the conversation. There was a glimmer in her eyes that lead to Naomi pushing further.

"Nothing? Well that's hard to believe." Naomi hoisted herself up, and leaned on her outstretched arms instead, crossing her feet while looking at Emily. Emily noticed Naomi's oversized shirt pooled around her waist and hips.

"Nothing defines me. A definition excludes the possibility for change." Emily shrugged. This earned a real grin from Naomi. She realized that Emily was probably too smart for her own good.

"Now that's an answer I like." Naomi said earnestly. Emily smiled back at her, looking a bit more settled than a few moments ago. To think that's all the perking that was necessary to begin a flowing conversation with the girl with the brown eyes was a bit of a shock to Naomi. But it was.

"So what about you? What's your story?" Emily's kind expression yet again was directed at the blonde.

"Me? I started out with nothing. Still have most of it." Naomi answered, leaning on her bended legs while turning more to address Emily properly. Emily raised a single eyebrow at her.

Naomi could've said that she meant in materialistic things, which was what she thought when she said it, but when she looked into Emily's eyes and saw all the possibilities lying there that she hadn't the rights to explore, she wasn't so sure anymore.

* * *

><p>They talked for the rest of the morning. Nothing major, just small talk. They shifted between talking about the animals to their interests to the other people in the cabin. Emily learned that Naomi and James had grown up together, but not much more than that, and Naomi had learned that Emily and Katherine had, since they were little, done everything together. And even though Emily didn't say it, she could easily tell that Katherine ruled over her. Made her into what she wanted her to be. Forced Emily to comply. But it was so simply for Naomi to spot it.<p>

Naomi thought Emily was caught between who she was and who she wanted to be.8

Soon it was dinner time, and since the two girls had lazed the whole day away under that tree, they volunteered to make the food. The boys had been busy stacking wood, while Katherine and Elizabeth was in the cellar making cheese. Naomi knew that was a hard job, and it took time. It wasn't something she was particularly eager to do, so making dinner with Emily was a great spare job.

They moved swiftly around the kitchen as they prepared the ingredients for a soup. It was almost a dance how they so gracefully moved about each other and worked together. Everything just fitted. They could almost read each other minds, so when Naomi almost spilled all the meat on the floor when she was scooping it over in the pan, Emily was there to save her, and when Emily needed some spices to taste the food, Naomi was quick to hand her whatever she needed.

And even though they didn't exchange much words while doing this, they often found each others eye. Smiled a private smile. And they always hovered close to each other. It looked innocent enough, but Elizabeth who had moved to rest on the bench towards the end of the dinner making was watching them with that smirk upon her face.

Naomi had never enjoyed a regular task as making dinner this much before. Usually she thought it was boring, and the mixing of food was not in her line of interests at all. But that's not what she thought during this session. No. Naomi was struck by the simple truth that sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary simply by doing them with the right person.

When Katherine had circled the pan three times sniffing the odor coming from it, and had complained even more about how it took ages to finish, Emily came to the conclusion that it wasn't any point in postponing it anymore. It was almost cooked anyway.

As the dinner was served, Naomi and Emily smiled shyly at each other as they tasted their food. It was good. Really good. And the others seemed to pick up on that too, if the praising comments were anything to go by.

And thus was how the shaky contours of a friendship between Emily and Naomi started.

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><p>They came to share that place under the tree during parts of the day. Mostly in the morning and sometimes even in the evenings. It wasn't always much words between them, but the simple presence of each other was enough to draw them together there.<p>

They talked about the happenings of the day, mostly about James or Katherine as they more often than the others did or said things that was worth repeating. Naomi found that Emily actually didn't share a lot of Katherine's opinions, and it delighted her.

But. There always was a but. And it was often weighing down on Naomi, even though she hated that it did. She had no reason to care. Emily was free to do as she liked.

But Emily was getting friendlier with Jonah. As it seemed. They would sit and talk privately and laugh together. When she concentrated on how many times she heard that adorable laughter of Emily, she was sure she laughed more with Jonah than she did with herself. But why did it bother her so much? Emily and Jonah would surely be a great couple. He was actually nice in addition to other boys. Even though Naomi reasoned with herself, she couldn't rid the sour taste in her mouth.

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><p>It was evening again, and even though Naomi and Emily had a lovely chat earlier in the day, Naomi was now angrily ripping on a loose chip of wood on the table where she was playing cards with Elizabeth and James. Katherine had gone to bed early, complaining that she was tired after everything she'd had to do that day. Not that it was much, Naomi scoffed inwardly. And Emily and Jonah was so to say <em>snuggled <em>up on the bench. Emily's head on his shoulder as he flipped the pages of his plant book. He often stopped and they had a intelligent conversation about the plants, recalling stories from when they've spotted them, and laughed as it digressed into funny stories from their childhood.

Elizabeth was aware of how Naomi gripped her cards a little tighter every time she casted a glance towards the bench. She smirked at this, thought everything was so obvious and everyone was oblivious. She leaned in close to the blonde.

"They're adorable together, don't you think." she whispered in her ear, so only she could hear. In turn, Naomi clenched her jaw and managed to rip loose the wood chip form the table as Emily yet again leaned into Jonah and laughed. It was so uncalled for, this uneasiness about their friendship, but Naomi had a hard time controlling her feelings towards it. How could Emily so easily switch between her and Jonah? Wasn't she as fun as he was?

In a snap decision, Naomi smashed her cards onto the table and stood up abruptly. James sat taken aback, watching her outburst.

"Naomi!" he called when she moved towards the door and started taking her shoes on, "We're not finished here, Naomikins!"

"It's fine, Cook. I'll empty the outhouse tomorrow. Don't worry about it. You and Eff just keep playing." Naomi answered surprisingly calm, yet she made sure to not make eye-contact with anyone. She just needed some air to clear her head, their games about next days' tasks be damned.

"Where are ya going, princess?" he yelled after Naomi as she was about to close the door.

"Out!" she answered with the same volume, before safely closing the door and breathing in the evening air. The sun had set behind the mountains awhile ago, but the complete darkness hadn't fallen yet. She made her way to her regular place, only stopping to pet one of the tied donkeys on the way.

She sat under that tree for a while and thought about how utterly ridiculous she was. It was unheard of that she cared about who Emily was friends and how _good _friends they were. Even though she had a suspicion that Emily and Jonah were more than friends. They sure acted like they were.

But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't rid Emily's laughter with him from her memory. Some days it felt like she had an entire wood on fire inside of her.

Soon she heard footsteps behind her and knew instantly that it was Emily. The lightness of her steps, it was something Naomi had memorized without even noticing.

"Hi." Emily greeted quietly as she sat beside her, eyes locked on Naomi's face that wouldn't look back. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Naomi says, sniffs a bit and drags up some straws of grass with her fingers. Still not meeting Emily's eyes.

"Okay." Emily answered, deflated. Naomi knew that Emily didn't believe her. But she didn't push. And Naomi was glad for it.

Although it only made her hate herself a little more for not managing to let go of the issue at hand. She couldn't simply ignore it anymore, she needed answers.

"So JJ, huh?" she commented, trying to sound uninterested and unfazed. Emily studied Naomi for a bit, before answering.

"What about him?" Emily asked.

"You must really like him. You should go back inside to him." Naomi said, but it came out way to bitter for her own liking.

"You…" Emily started, shock plastered all over her face as she interpreted Naomi's words, "you think I like JJ?" she said it almost breathless.

"It's obvious." Naomi shrugged.

"Look, JJ is just a friend of the family." Emily tried to explain.

"Right." Naomi cut off curtly. Then she composed herself. "Look, it's no shame in it. He's a nice boy. I get it."

"I don't like JJ..." Emily said then, more to herself than to Naomi, which in turn made Naomi's eyes fleet to the petite girls' troubled face, "I couldn't…" she continued.

"Naomi, I'm engaged." Her eyes were blank.

The air was drawn from both girls' lungs at the admission. A painful quietness followed.

And some days, some days Naomi felt the entire ocean inside of her.


	6. While I'm standing

**Hey, I'm back from England (like a week ago) but just got the motivation for this chapter today. So here it is, without much further ado :)**

**In this chapter we have Beyonce, Thomas Cardinal Wolsey, F Scott Fitzgerald and something from the series Lost Girl(I think).**

**Chapter 6: While I'm standing**

Naomi had been in utter shock for a few days. The last thing she had guessed was that the little twin was already engaged, already promised away. So she took some time to try to wrap her head around it, try to see the realness in the situation.

Emily had gotten even quieter these past days, if it was possible. She still came to the tree, sometimes without Naomi even being there, but now she usually brought a book and leant her small back against the trunk whilst reading it. They often sat under there in silence, both lost in the thoughts following Emily's great revelation.

Naomi hadn't reacted much, to be honest. When Emily came clean to her, there were no words in this world she could think of saying back. What did one answer to something like that anyway? When she thought about it later that night lying in bed, she scolded herself for not being happy for Emily. Maybe a '_congratulations' _had been in place. But then she remembered the look on Emily's face as she told Naomi she was engaged. Was it really something to congratulate?

In the following days Naomi stayed close to James. And Elizabeth when Katherine wasn't hanging over her, talking nonstop about one thing or another.

She did have quite a nice time with them, despite the lump in her stomach because of Emily. They took her mind off it for a while, and James always knew what to say to humour Naomi and make her laugh. And every time Naomi laughed, she hoped Emily watched. Not because she would see that she was happy, because she was certainly not, but that maybe, just maybe, she'd get the same tingling in her body Naomi got whenever Emily laughed.

And in all honesty, Naomi had never felt as alone as that one afternoon she and Elizabeth was keeping James company while he chopped some wood on the downside of the cabin. He was joking around about how he would make himself into a decent guy so he could live up to Katherine's standards, and if Naomi had listened to what he said, she would've laughed along. But she didn't, because her eyes was trained on that small figure sitting under the tree further away. And even though James was making a lot of noise as usual, Naomi only heard loud silence. She was surrounded by friends, but she was alone.

"JJ is growing on me. Nice chap, that." James said. It was the first thing Naomi had registered in a while, and she decided to actually pay attention to the people who was around her.

"His nose is always in that book." Elizabeth commented offhandedly. She was sitting on top of a pile of logs, crossed legs, and watching out over the field. Naomi knew she always felt at peace doing this, looking out for animals. She had that connection with them, like she could communicate with them on a different level. But then again, Elizabeth had always been a bit complex and superior in communicating.

"He's smart that kid. Drinks it all in." James answered, bracing himself before chopping a log in two. They needed the logs to fire up the stove, so every now and again a new stash needed to be made.

Naomi pondered about what they said, thought of Jonah and how wrong she was about him and Emily. Emily had explained that they practically grew up together, and that they've known each other since they were little. They were not as close as she and James, but close nevertheless.

And now there was a new thought keeping her up at night. Who was Emily's fiancee? Was he good enough for her? Would he take care of her? Naomi knew she had no reason what so ever to worry about this, but she couldn't exactly stop her reeling head, could she?

"You should be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you'll never ever get it out." Elizabeth smirked, in context talking about Jonah, but looking directly at Naomi.

"Right." Naomi muttered, thrown off.

James laughed his loud laughter at that. "You're right, Eff. Tell him that it was technical possible to fly off the face of the earth, and he would definitely test out the theory! Good one." Even Elizabeth had to crack a smile. It was true, Jonah was incredible gullible. But Naomi sadly couldn't make herself smile, because she hadn't seen Emily looking happy since the night she told her she was engaged. And it broke her heart.

Elizabeth sat reading Naomi's face emotions as Naomi looked over to the tree. She knew Naomi wasn't aware, she was too lost in her own thoughts. And Elizabeth sought once again back to her basic thoughts... that in the end, they were all just humans. Drunk on the idea that love, and only love, could heal their brokenness.

Elizabeth knew that Naomi didn't believe in love. But sitting there, looking at the so obvious expressions in her eyes, she realised that it was only denial. Oh, Elizabeth believed in love, but she didn't believe in it for herself. No, that wagon was long gone.

Naomi chewed on her bottom lip, aware that she had to really talk to the small twin sooner rather than later. She needed to give her an indicator that she was okay with the engagement. She couldn't be anything else, that would be weird. She also had to apologise, or make it better, that she didn't say anything when Emily needed her the most. From now on she would be stronger, steadier.

At last Naomi decided that you can either curse the darkness, or light a candle. So that's what she did, left Elizabeth and James behind, and went to light that tiny candle.

"Where is she going?" James asked Elizabeth quietly as he looked after the retreating form of Naomi. She had left without a word. Elizabeth smiled genuinely when James turned to her. And a look of recognition fleeted between them.

Naomi got closer to where Emily was curled up under the tree, her small feet hidden beneath her pannier, hair hanging over her face as she was lost in her book. And Naomi couldn't grasp how she got off being so perfect. You think you've seen everything and then you see Emily.

"Hi, I'm not disturbing, am I?" Naomi asks when she's within earshot. Emily looks surprised up at here, but smiles adorably the next second.

"Not at all, please join me." she smiles.

"You're quite fond of books too, then? You and JJ." Naomi starts to make small conversation, sitting down beside Emily.

"Yeah, well, it makes the time go by." she closes the book and lays it beside herself, directing all her attention towards Naomi. It wasn't hard to see she was pleased the blonde talked to her again.

"Oh, right. So you can go home to your fiancee of course." Naomi answered, and there wasn't any bitterness in it. She was there to prod Emily. Because she had realised one thing, and that was that a soon to be wife shouldn't be sad like Emily. No, they should be bursting of joy. And unfortunately, Emily had shown no sign that she was looking forward to this.

"Eh, uhm, right." Emily stuttered, suddenly showing signs of being flustered. She swallowed hard, not really enjoying the conversation anymore.

"So, who's the lucky lad?"

"You probably wouldn't know who it was." Emily half smiled and casted a side glance to the blonde.

"No? At least tell me his name. Maybe I've heard of it." Naomi offered.

"Okay." Emily answered, unsure. "He's... Uh, he's from the neighbour town. His name is Peter."

"Peter." Naomi echoed and nodded.

"And he's the twin of Katie's fiancee, Andrew."

Naomi turned to Emily with big eyes, sure that this was a scam from her. But when she saw that small mixture of a grimace and smile on her face, she knew that it wasn't.

"Huh, what's the stakes for that, eh?" she tried to lighten the mood.

"Yeah..." Emily shrugged. "So we're having a massive double twin wedding after the summer. We've managed to keep it secret this long, but I'm guessing it will be a bit attention around it." Naomi nodded absentmindedly to this. "I mean, they being Lawsons and everything."

"They're in the Lawson family? Wow, heard they own multiple castles up in the north. Impressive." Naomi mused. This was another world for her, this high and rich.

"I guess." Emily answered offhandedly. Despite it all, it was nice to share a fraction of the burden hanging over her shoulders.

"So you're looking forward to it?" Naomi turned to Emily again. This was where she was heavily unsure of the answer she would get. Because even through the conversation they just had, Emily hadn't once shown a little enthusiasm about this. But either way, Naomi had decided that from now on, she would be supportive. It seemed Emily had enough in her life dragging her down.

Emily turned to Naomi with raised eyebrows, as to ask how in the world she could ask such a question. "Well, Of c-course I am!" she said as believable she could. And it seemed to be enough as Naomi lowered her eyes to the ground.

"Good then." she said more to herself than to Emily.

It was really only one rule Naomi thought she should live after from then, and it was that she shouldn't let someone be too important in her life. This was a perfect example as of why. And even though she just made the rule, she couldn't stop the inkling feeling that she had already broken it.


	7. Want to be there

**We all know that when things clutter up at school, I end up writing here instead. An essay about group communication? Pffff, not if I can write Naomily communication! So yeah, when I warn you about exams - don't be fooled! **

**I'm, as always, incredibly happy for every feedback. So thanks for that! **

**Genius people (I _think_ they are anyway, haha.):F Scott Fitzgerald, Rene Descartes, Lemony Snicket, Tony Scott, Elie Wiesel and Sylvia Day, Reflected In You.**

**Chapter 7: Want to be there**

"What are you reading?" Naomi asks Emily one day.

They was still seeking refugee under that tree together, but the silence had finally evaporated. Naomi had come to terms with Emily being engaged, and Emily had stopped getting flustered about it. Peacefulness between the two young girls was once again restored, and the easiness with being with each other slowly came creeping back. Naomi simply couldn't stay away.

Naomi was lying on her back, feet spread in front of her, and had secretly studied Emily for a while. She thought it was captivating, seeing how lost in the book the small girl was.

Emily looked over at Naomi, not unaware that she had been looking, and half closed the book.

"It's called _'the steads of men'_. It's stories about different people in the society in Greece." she explained.

"Really?" Naomi was amazed. "What kind of stories?"

"Well, politics, families and love. The two other books I brought are from the same author and is basically about the same."

"Really, and which stories do you like the best?"

"Those about love." Emily looked down, blushing a bit. Naomi thought it was cute. "There are so many different kinds of love described in here. Initially I don't get to read about it, because my dad thinks I should read about proper things. To fend for myself, you know. To not become a clueless house lady one day. But he let me read these because it's a lot of wise things about society and law in it. And I really like those aspects too, but it's the love stories that really captivates me."

Naomi sat watching Emily as she talked passionately. She realised she hadn't seen her this devoted to something as long as she'd known her. Yes, she had noticed her love for gardening, but this was different. "It sounds really intriguing." She managed to stutter out when Emily was looking at her expectantly.

"It is. You should borrow one of the others. Read it while we have all this downtime." Emily smiled warmly.

"Oh, that would just be a waste." Naomi waved the proposition away, leaning back on her folded hands. She had borrowed a hat from James which was half covering her face.

"A waste?" Emily asked indignantly.

"It's not like I could read them or anything." Naomi said casually, but it always hurt when she had to admit this. She wasn't dumb, by any means. She just hadn't had the same opportunities in life as everyone else.

It was silent for a minute or two, the words hanging in the air between them.

"You can't read?" Emily asks so softly, Naomi wanted to compare it to the lightest material on the sunniest day.

"I'm not clueless. There was an old teacher staying at my mums inn for a couple of weeks one time. And he learned me some letters and stuff, but he left before I got the hang of it. And there really isn't much books around there, or time for them anyway." Naomi shrugged, still hiding under the hat. Of course it was a bit embarrassing coming of as shorthanded. Reading was after all a sign of intelligence. Just a shame intelligence didn't know money.

"I could teach you, you know." Emily offered, coaxing Naomi out from the shade under the headwear.

And thus was how their time together was spent huddled over Emily's books. She pointed out words for Naomi to read, and pronounce, and if she didn't get it right at first, she'd help and give hints. They even found some old ink in the cabin, and used it with a feather they found outside from a bypassing unknowing bird, to write on scraps of paper and pieces of wood. Naomi was a fast learner, and Emily was an excellent teacher.

They often laid with one book each on their stomachs under that tree, looking at what the other was reading, and so Emily could quickly explain a word Naomi thought was complicated.

"What is this word, Em? Di-, Die leh..?"

Emily peered over at the word Naomi was pointing at. "Dilatory." She corrected, smiling at the blonde.

"Dilatory, what does that even mean?" Naomi furrowed her brows. She was about fifteen pages in on the first book, and even though it went slowly, she was greatly improving.

"It means that one's slow to do something. Look, 'Simon was dilatory in seeking a doctor', which means he was too lazy to go." Emily followed the rest of the sentence with her pointy finger.

"Simon is lazy in general. Jaison is a much better suitor for Alcina. Plus he is starting that mill business, giving people work to do. That's smart." Naomi mused, being deeply touched by the story she was reading.

"You're right, that's what I thought." Emily smiled at her.

"I never asked you who wrote these books. He or she must've been insightful and well educated."

"His name was Anton Booras, and I actually think he was poor. I'm not sure. He lived a couple of centuries ago anyway."

"Seriously? These books are that old? But the stories are still so relevant by what you've told me."

"That's part of the beauty of all literature. The best is timeless, still managing to be important no matter who reads it. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong."

And that's when it hit Naomi, why Emily usually spent her time curled up with these books. She needed something to identify herself with. Because really, she was nothing like her sister. Naomi realised that the thoughts swirling around inside Emily's head probably wasn't shared by anyone she'd ever met. Therefore seeking refugee in literature. Therefore it meant so much to her. And now Naomi was dying to know her thoughts about everything. Emily saw the look on Naomi's face, suddenly realising she shared more than she meant to. She was quick to steer the conversation forward.

"And besides, the reading of all good books is like conversation with the finest men of past centuries. That's what my dad says anyway."

"You really love your dad." Naomi smiled, thinking about the father she never had.

"That I do." Emily nodded, going back to her book. Naomi studied her for a few more seconds before she, too, escaped into the world of fantasy.

* * *

><p>They went about as normal, Naomi did most of the hard work along with James, and Emily stayed mostly in the garden if she wasn't commanded to cooking. Naomi was always thoughtful about complimenting Emily whenever she cooked or they used vegetables she had nursed. She never said Emily's name of course, just generally praised the food, but Emily knew it was aimed at her as she shyly smiled into her bowl of food.<p>

The others went about as usual. Jonah had engaged James somewhat in his plant stuff, and in return James had taken him along for more boyish things. They were slowly getting good mates. And Katherine and Elizabeth, that was a weird friendship. From the outside it looked like it was one-sided, Katherine constantly chattering and Elizabeth seemingly appearing uninterested. But if you looked closer, it lied a deep respect for one another underneath. Katherine needed to get out everything she had inside, and Elizabeth, who almost never said anything herself, felt it refreshing talking to someone without filter. The silence in her own company could sometimes become overbearing.

One day when Naomi and Emily was both leaning against the trunk of the tree reading, occasionally looking down towards where Elizabeth was delivering a lamb from a mother sheep, Naomi suddenly burst into laughter.

"What is it?" Emily's eyes instantly went to the page Naomi was reading, trying to figure out where in the book she was. When she caught a few phrases, she knew.

"I really like this guy's sarcasm. Listen to this, '_A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.' _I love that. How he starts the sentence like it's going to be dark and meaningful, and ends it with that obvious claim." Naomi is animated and almost glowing as she speaks. The company of Emily throughout many days to end has left her more happy than before. It seemed to be contaminating Emily too.

"That's true. I really like how he makes the satirical and the serious meet." Emily said, thinking about that especial story, or more like criticism of mankind.

"I would really like to see one one day." Naomi leaned her head against the trunk and looked at the sun through the swaying leafs.

"See what?" Emily wasn't following.

"A library."

"Oh," Emily realised, "well, we have one in our house. It's not very big, and I haven't read everything in it yet, but it has that certain feel over it. Like it's filled with thoughts and ideas, you know? You just have to find that one book that picks your interest."

"How's your house like? How do you live?" Naomi asked. She was without a doubt interested in where Emily came from. What made her _her._

"It's a big house made of bricks, and it lays on top of a hill. So it's good view from the small garden. Me and Katie are sharing rooms, so there's not much privacy, unless I escape to one of my secret places." Emily smiled to herself, and Naomi couldn't help but wonder how her secret places looked like. Why they qualified for such a task. Why she felt the overbearing need to escape at all.

"And," Emily continued, "I have a little brother. His name is James too. Kind of remind me of Cook, really. That boyish charm and interest in girls. And their hair colour is quite alike too, only he has long wavy hair. A bit longer than yours, actually." Emily bumped gently into Naomi's shoulder, before she continued. "And then there's my dad and my mum. My mum has always been a fierce loving mother, which was more fitting when we were smaller, because then we needed the protection she could give. Now it's more the opposite..." she shrugged, "and my dad is a big trader. He's had properties in all cardinal directions."

"And what about you?" Naomi asked, longing for Emily to keep talking. Always make her say the most.

"What about me?" Emily's warm brown eyes shifted to meet Naomi's. They were so innocent and so dear.

"Like, I don't know, what do you want to be?" Naomi shrugged.

"Like a career?" Naomi nodded "You know you're asking a rich man's daughter what she wants to be in life, right? It's a given that we marry well and is being taken care of for the rest of our lives."

"Yeah, but you don't strike me as that kind. So if you could choose to whatever you like, what would you do?"

Emily pondered it for a while, really giving it some thought, before she turned back to a waiting Naomi. "I don't quite know, actually. Maybe I would want to study medicine, that's Katie's secret dream anyway. But if you ask her, she'll deny it until her face turn blue. She's too stubborn to admit it, but I've seen what she's reading and how she's interested in healing processes and such. But she won't pursue it, that's for sure. And if she's not, then I don't think I could either... But yeah, I like helping people, so maybe that."

"Helping people..." Naomi dragged out. "I think that's a really nice dream."

She looked at Emily then. Really looked at her. She was so caring and so smart, this girl. She couldn't help but appreciate all that she was. Both the soft curves of her beautiful face and the softness of her soul. Emily Fitch deserved respect from everyone, and Naomi was sure that she one day would change the world. Now one could only hope Peter realised how lucky he was.

Emily had noticed how Naomi's look had changed as she watched her. It agitated her, because she had never ever seen someone look at her this way. She was helplessly watching Naomi study her with unknown thoughts in her head.

"Why do you look at me like that?" Emily couldn't help but ask.

Naomi blinked a couple of times, realising she got lost in her thoughts about the little twin. She couldn't think of another answer than _she heard that mermaids are so beautiful sailors think they are lucky when they are given the chance to drown._

She didn't say this, of course. She averted her eyes and shrugged, gave a feeble explanation that she should go through with her plans. Emily saw the quick change in Naomi at her question, but didn't query her any further.

"How about you? What do you dream of? How does you future look like?" Emily changed the subject, feeling the need to know these things about Naomi too.

"I don't know." Naomi said, having gotten past the embarrassment she felt for shamelessly staring a second ago, "I guess I've always been where I'm needed. I don't think I could settle with doing just one thing for the rest of my life, you know? My mum, she owns an inn as I've said, and me and Cook always do what needs to be done. It's always something that needs fixing or improvement, and I like doing that. But I also like coming up here in the summer, doing something different, a change of scenery. I guess, I don't know... I like changing the pace of my life, changing my discipline. It gives me ideas for how to see the world differently." Naomi ended her ramble with a little shrug. Maybe she had said too much of her thoughts, but when she looked back to Emily's warm exterior, she didn't really care.

"Wow." Emily breathed out. "You want to help people too."

"Maybe in a sense," Naomi shrugged it off, "but it's mostly about me not knowing much other stuff than handy work."

"No, you're wrong there. You _do _know more. You're smart. And you really love those around you. Not like Katie, she hates everyone." Emily scrunched her eyebrows together, saying it in a sarcastic way. She knew the truth about Katherine., though Knew that under her complaining and moaning, she really did love the people around her. It was just hard for her to show.

"You know what an old crazy loon at the inn said one time? Made me think that maybe he wasn't so crazy after all." Naomi replied thoughtfully.

"No?"

"He said that _the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference." _Emily closed her eyes as she listened to Naomi's voice dictate the words. "And even though he shouted it from the top of the roof while clutching a bottle of whisky, I think he was right. If you don't care about life and what happens to you, you may as well not be living at all."

That hit Emily hard. Right in the chest. For wasn't it exactly that which was happening to her? She had stopped caring what happened to her, she had given in. And now Naomi said that it was the right opposite of life itself. And Emily realised with pain that Naomi wasn't wrong.

"Kind of goes against what my dad always say, though. Golden words of a trader." Emily said with a shaking voice. "_A wise man once said nothing. _He always replies it to those who say _A wise man once said... _and then something."

"How does that goes against the saying?" Naomi was leaning sideways to the trunk now, giving Emily her full attention.

"You know, that even though the man is wise, he doesn't share what he knows. He doesn't interfere even though he knows better. He's just silent, and let's everyone else have their way." Emily said sadly, tucking her hands into her sleeves. Somewhat protecting them, but from what, she didn't know.

"It's not the same." Naomi said quietly, watching the distressed girl in front of her. Emily turned to her, desperation and hope in her eyes. "Just because someone is silent doesn't mean they're indifferent. It doesn't mean that they don't care about life. Maybe it just means that they care about someone else more than themselves. And selflessness, that's not something to frown upon."

Emily turned away, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Although," Naomi continued, "since they're so wise, one should only hope they shared their thoughts with the world in time." Naomi smiled gently, but Emily didn't look at her anymore. She was busy processing thoughts in her own head. No one had been so meticulous and gracious about her character before.

And whilst Emily thought about herself, Naomi did too. She placed her hands between her cheek and wood, and gave herself permission to really marvel in the sight before her. And Naomi thought about how she hadn't known she had been looking for anything until she saw _her_.


	8. Lost in the world

**This one goes out to _DesolateMoondust, _for being awesome! (Go read her stuff) And also, go read the two stories _acm13 _is writing, they're like a breath of fresh air. God, I also have a lot of other recommendations, but it would fill up the entire page, so that's the most important for now. _  
><em>**

**I'm sorry for the wait. Life have thrown me a big curveball which I'm still coping with, so it's hard juggling everything. I promise that I try to update as often as I can. And this chapter was actually a bit hard to write compared to the others. Felt I didn't make it flow so good. Oh well, tell me what you think!**

**My sources for this chapter (along with some unknown which I sadly always stumble upon) is an Yddish proverb, Allen Ginsberg, 10 things I hate about you, Iyanla Vanzant, Charlie Chaplin, Joyce Meyer and RM Broderick.**

**Chapter 8: Lost in the world**

They were lying side by side, watching clouds drift by. The last couple of days had brought them closer, with reading those books and discussing them, sometimes digressing into heavier topics. But they'd read and talked about these issues all day, everyday, and since Naomi had gotten so good at reading, they decided to take a break from them. It was getting boring in the long run, reading the same over and over, when they had a person next to each other they finally felt they could open up to. The books was blurring more and more into the background as they got to know each other bit by bit.

Naomi had both her hands behind her head, woven into her short blonde locks, and had her trouser clothed feet crossed down in the grass. Emily had curled her feet into herself, and was laying kind of sideways, her head propped up on her palm. It was easy for her to cast her eyes down on Naomi's face.

"How is your mum like?" Emily asked the blonde-haired spitfire beside her. She had learned this through their many conversations, and it wasn't hard asking about her life anymore. Sharing had become accustomed to them.

"She's irritating." Naomi says without missing a beat, making Emily slightly giggle.

"I have a hard time believing that." Emily says softly, getting the weird need to reach out to the girl beside her. She held back though. Always holding back.

"Yeah, well. She's strong and caring and loving, but when it comes to my private life she is just too prying. And that makes her rather irritating." Naomi talked, her eyes still trained on the cloud shaped as a horse above them. She herself had thought it was more like a cow, but Emily had earlier stated that it was without a doubt a horse.

"A bit like you then." Emily muttered, casting her eyes down as Naomi turned to look at her.

"No," Naomi looked away, and continued before Emily could protest, "I would never come as close to her resolute nature. She raised me on her own, you know. Not exactly customary business, that."

"What happened with your dad?" Emily dared ask quietly, eyes trained on Naomi's which was looking sky high.

"I've never met him. He was a bit of a vagabond, but he had promised himself to my mum. I guess it wasn't unconditional."

"I'm sorry." Emily whispered. Naomi turned to look at her, her brown hair and even browner eyes. She could see the genuine worry and sympathy there, and it was refreshing to talk to someone that was so absolute.

"It's okay." Naomi gently smiled. "Or, I mean, it's not really, but it has to be anyway, doesn't it? I have mum, and I have Cook, so we'll manage."

"Yeah, Cook..." Emily mused, "What's the story there? He's a friend of the family or something?"

"Kind of, but not entirely. My mum had to raise me by herself, as said. And to pull through she rented out the little house we had for travellers. Some of them were quite handy and helped her around in it, made it better. In a few year she managed to save up some money, and then we sold the house to move into a bigger, older one. She had to fix up quite a bit, but she got a lot of help. Cook's father was one of them who helped out, and when he worked, mum usually looked after Cook. Cook's mum was incapable of taking care of herself, you know, so his dad was left with all responsibility. But sadly he was a bit of a drunk. Could go weeks without taking care of his boy, just drinking away his sorrows. So in the end my mum took in Cook for good and sent his dad on his way. It wasn't good for Cook to have him around like that. And after that we basically grew up together as siblings, and our job was mostly helping mum around the inn so we could make a decent living."

"That's nice." Emily smiles to herself. "Not the part about Cook's parents, but that you took him in."

"Yeah." Naomi agreed. "We just did what any other sane person would do in that situation. Me and Cook have basically been inseparable since, even though he's a pain in the arse sometimes." Emily laugh out loud at this, falling down on her back. "But he's family."

"Sounds like you and Cook know each other pretty well then. Sometimes I wonder about me and Katie, how much she really knows me." Naomi looked to Emily at this, and smiled at her before answering.

"Yeah, mum always joked that me and Cook would grow up and marry, and take over the inn."

It was oddly quiet after Naomi said that, Emily mulling over something while chewing on her lip.

"It does sound like it's something that's meant to be." Emily mumbled. Naomi hastily sat up, looking at Emily with wide eyes.

"Are you mad? Me and Cook? I can't even sleep in the same room as him and not want to strangle him! He's fun and all, but not someone I would want to spend my life with. Don't believe everything you think."

Emily had to bite back a satisfied smirk at that, and kept her eyes open and amused looking. "Alright, Naoms. No need to tear down walls."

Naomi rolled her eyes and laid back down with a huff, releasing the smile on Emily's face. Emily knew Naomi well enough now to know that she was an original person in that sense that she wouldn't hold back opinions like this. And it delighted Emily, that Naomi could voice them so easily, not always considering every consequence of them. Not always thinking about who would mind.

"What's your mother's name?" Emily asks then, after they've gone back to cloud watching.

"Gina."

Emily smiled. "That's a nice name." As she looked towards Naomi, she saw that it made her mouth twitch into half a smile. "I would like to meet her sometime."

"Yeah..." Naomi sighed. "You'd also had to meet all our weird renters." Naomi turned towards Emily, chuckling. Emily returned the laughter. Their eyes crinkled in the light of the other.

"I think I'd live." Emily declared and situated herself on the grass again, warm with thoughts of future tea with Naomi and her mum.

It was quiet for a bit, a good quiet. It wasn't always necessary for them to talk, they had that kind of accompaniment which could live easily with just the presence of the two girls. It was nice for Emily, as her sister was quite the unstoppable dinger.

"Did your mum ever regret any of it?" Emily asked. Naomi looked at her questioningly, silently asking her to clarify. "I mean, did she ever consider marrying another? To not do it alone? As you said, it is a bit untraditional to create a family without a man."

Naomi shrugged. "The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them."

"Right." Emilys eyes cast down. Naomi looked curiously over at her again, frowning a bit when she saw the twin go silent.

"If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over, you know." she smiled hesitantly.

"Yeah." Emily agreed, barely returning the smile. It unsettled Naomi deep in her gut, that's how in tune she was with this girl already. But she realised it wasn't _her _who was meant to console her like this. That someone else already had her heart. So she uncrossed her feet and laid a sheen of ice around her heart.

"You've been holding out on me." Naomi tried to force some humour into her voice.

"What do you mean?" Emily's head was laying sideways in the grass now, her eyes solely focused on Naomi. But Naomi refused to turn, refused to fall under.

"Here I've been telling you all about my life, and you're holding back." A smile crossed Naomi's lips, and it looked real enough.

"What? I've told you about my family." Emily said a bit indignantly.

"But there's one person you haven't told me about. The biggest part." Naomi turned then, her strong and electrifying eyes meeting Emily's shrinking ones.

"Who?" Emily asked, almost shying away. Her mind had miraculously not gone there at this question, but she would soon mentally curse herself for that. For being so oblivious.

"Peter." Naomi said, the name leaving a bitter taste on her tongue.

"Oh." Emily answered breathlessly. It was like a punch in her stomach, and threw her so carelessly back to reality. "What do you want to know then?"

"I don't know. Like, how does he look?"

"He's ... tall, I guess." Emily started, as her mind filled with pictures of her coming husband. "His hair is black and short." And she couldn't for the life of her find anymore words to describe his appearance.

"That's it?" Naomi raised an eyebrow.

"Uhh, no, I mean his eyes... they're.., they're blue." Emily stammered, not at all certain about the fact.

"No gushing about how handsome he is? No moaning about how you can wait to be married with him?" Naomi asked, half confused and half beguiled.

"Well, he is, I-I m-mean.. He's handsome." Emily was quick to cover up, but it didn't seem quite so genuine to Naomi.

"And what do he do? What's his interests?" she queried along.

"Well, he reads a bit. He says they have a huge library at their mansion. He reads about politics mostly, and about money. He's very up to date with the laws in the country, and he's very passionate about the family's partnerships." Emily explained.

"So he's a workaholic then? But what does he do for fun? Talk about philosophy with you?" Naomi smiled to Emily at this, indicating their daily activity by now. Naomi hoped to god that Emily didn't talk to Peter as freely as she did with her, because what was left for her? But second guessing it, she realised it wouldn't be too bad if Emily was pledged a decent bloke for the rest of her life. She truly just wanted her happy.

"No, he ... he likes to go out with his brother and their friends with a bunch of dogs and-" Emily cut herself off, turning a bit away from Naomi because she knew what would come next, "-hunt foxes."

"What!" Naomi exclaimed, her eyes flashing with disbelief.

Emily just answered with an anxious stare, ready for the blonde to blow up in her face. She was afraid Naomi would think she was as heartless as her coming husband. But to her surprise, Naomi didn't shout at her for her choice of life partner, she seemed to gather herself and sit back instead.

"And you're okay with that?" she was leaning her elbows on her knees, making Emily sit up a bit as well, apprehensive.

"No, of course not." Emily sputtered, as she thought about a poor fox being chased over hills and valleys by dozens of barking dogs. The men on horseback following, enjoying themselves over the torture of the fine red-haired wood animal, and awarding it with death when it's so tired and scared it wouldn't last a second more anyway. She didn't like the activity one bit, but what could she do? She was just a small piece in this game anyway.

"Yeah, well..." Naomi averted her eyes down to where James and Jonah had turned to look curiously up at them. Probably of her small outburst earlier. She gave a feeble wave to them, and they went back to whatever they were doing. Naomi couldn't pay attention right now. Not with Emily looking so uncertainly at her. "You could probably persuade him to stop it when you're married."

"I-" Emily cut herself off. She couldn't divulge in this. Wouldn't let herself get off the hook, because this was something she'd only had hushed conversations about. Given swears as of to never tell. She was holding so much responsibility on her shoulders, and it was wearing her down. But she couldn't follow her inner moonlight, so she hid the madness, for now.

"Yeah," she agreed instead, "I could probably do that." A half smile was given to Naomi before she retracted into herself again, pondering why she let someone make her feel like she didn't deserve what she wanted. Not that she wasn't entirely sure of what she wanted anyway, she was just sure of what she _didn't _want.

Naomi watched down towards where James and Jonah was, playing some kind of game with the bored dogs. They looked crazy down there, scaring the sheep and goats everywhere, but James, just like the dogs, needed some offspring of his pent up energy. After a beat or two she scrambled to her feet, asking Emily to join, which she declined, before she jogged down to the field and met the two boys, leaving Emily staring in her wake under the tree.

* * *

><p>"That's a cutie you've got there." Naomi commented as she walked over to Emily an afternoon some days later.<p>

Emily was sitting on a big, flat boulder and petting a small baby goat. The cuteness of it all made Naomi smile so wide it was almost hurting her. It was another hot day, and Emily and Elizabeth had been out all day checking up on the animals. Naomi had been busy with other tasks along with James, so this was the first private encounter she shared with the petite girl in front of her today.

"Yes, he's adorable isn't he? The cutest of them all." Emily smiled delightfully up at her blonde friend.

"Don't tell me you've actually searched through them to find him?" Naomi quipped as she casually petted the head of seemingly the mother of this young goat. She bleated happily at Naomi before resuming her eating of the green grass beneath their feet.

"Don't be silly!" Emily uttered in mock offence. "Of course I've searched through all the little babys to find the cutest one. He's mine now." she smiled a second later, looking fondly down on the tiny creature in her small hands. Naomi could have died of all the adorableness. And to top it all off, Emily was looking spectacularly cute today with her birthday dress and a bowtie in her hair.

"Of course you did." Naomi snorted lovingly, teasing the smaller girl. "So what's the little fellow's name, then?"

"Terence." Emily stated satisfied, smiling down at the small goat. "Ickle Terence." She looked back to Naomi's with dimples in her cheeks.

"Hello Terence the ickle," Naomi took one of the goat's forefeet in her hand, slightly shaking it. "I'm Naomi the tremendous." Emily snort laughed at that.

"You should select a baby goat too, and they can be friends." Emily offered.

"No way! Not after you secured the cutest of them all! I want Terence." Naomi said, frowning and looking a tad grumpy.

"I'm sure there's someone almost as cute as him around here." Emily shrugged, the sunlight catching in her eye as she looked up at Naomi.

"That's really unfair, Emily. You can't just go around jinxing babies." Naomi folded her arms at this point.

"_Fine._" Emily huffed, exasparated. "He can be _ours_ then." she looked back at the tiny goat like he would lose half of his cuteness with this stunt.

"Ours." Naomi repeathed. "I'd like that." she mused out loud, her stomach suddenly getting filled with a weird feeling. She sat down beside Emily and started petting Terence, which they now was both the hypothetical owner of.

"Yes." Emily realised as she felt the warmness of the girl beside her, "Ours."

This was what's so special about their friendship. They could talk about deep matters, but also keep the exchange light and teasing. It was all a fine point of balance, like all the planets suddenly aligned where their paths met. Emily had never thought she'd ever find someone who could make flowers grow in even the saddest parts of her. But now, maybe she had.

* * *

><p>Their days was filled with the same as always. Caring for the cabin and the animals, delivering the last of the newcomers to this world, cleaning, improving and lastly making food for everyone. Naomi was so god damn tired of porridge, and she longed for the soups her mother used to put together. But they didn't have much to choose from up on the mountain, and the garden didn't deliver enough vegetables so they could enjoy it every day. They had decided to save the good stuff now that there wasn't loads to do.<p>

Naomi had been thinking more and more about what Emily had told her about Peter. They were going to marry, darn it, and Emily didn't sound a tad bit excited at all. And it worried Naomi. It worried her a lot. She could almost feel the fear Emily carried around. And she wished there was something she could do to help her let go of it. Because if she could, she didn't think Emily'd feel so alone anymore.

So that's why one day after the usual porridge dinner, where she had to suffer through Katherine's gagging noises and the general complain she was accustomed to by now, she finally gathered the courage she needed and followed Emily down to the fence where she was watching the sheep. Emily was leant against the steel wires, hand safely secured around a wooden pole, while petting and coaxing two small lambs and their mother.

Naomi had chosen this time because Katherine was on duty to wash up inside the cabin, and she didn't want her to come barging out and take the rug of confidence from under Emily. She didn't want to keep Emily for sharing the truth, if she desired to do that at all. But Naomi had to ask.

She trudged down to beside Emily, wary to avoid the mud, and stopped beside her by the fence, receiving a dashing smile from the girl in return.

"Hey you." Emily said in that delicious husky voice that almost made goosebumps appear on the blonde girls' skin. She wanted to divulge in it, divulge in small chatter like they used to, but she already felt her resolve crumbling and had to act fast.

"Emily, I've been wondering..."

"Yeah?" The small girl replied, not noticing the nerves in Naomi's voice. It was a wonder, really, because Naomi could hear her heartbeat in her ears.

"The other day when we talked about, you know..."

"We talk about a lot of things, Naoms."

_Okay, _Naomi thought, _it's now or never. Take the plunge and learn the truth. _

"We talked about your fiancee." Naomi clarified, seeing Emily's facade falter. "And when you talked about him, you didn't seem in love. It didn't seem like you were fond of him at all really."

And that sad little pout was back upon Emily's face as she refused to meet Naomi's eye. This was hurting both of them.

"It..." Emily took a gasp, not believing she would finally come clean about this, "it's arranged."

Naomi nodded and looked away. It wasn't unheard of, arranged marriages, but they weren't as common anymore. When she thought about it, she should've known sooner. Twin wedding? Not likely.

Their eyes met then. Emily's were desperate and pleading. Naomi understood she wasn't allow to tell anyone, that it would affect Emily in a bad way if she did. A silent understanding nod was given.

"It's not entirely forced, though. We all gave our consent. Katie was especially happy for it, because she thinks Andrew is so attractive and strong and so on... I could tell both him and Peter wanted to marry Katie, because she's more fun and outgoing than me." Emily looked down, fiddling with the fence and looking utterly shattered and cheerless. "But Andrew drew the longest straw, and Peter ended up with me."

"Stop it Emily." Naomi said gently. "Comparison is an act of violence against oneself."

Emily huffed, like she didn't want to hear what Naomi said. "It's not even about Katie. It's about this whole situation."

"What is it about then? If you really don't want it, surely there must be a way to avoid it."

"My dad, he's... he's broke, and this is the only way for us to survive economically." Emily admitted, her eyes watering.

"Oh." Naomi mouthed. The sheep had left them now, they had maybe noticed the sparkling and tragic mood.

"Yeah. And no one knows yet, but his trades, they started to go bad, and a lot of deals went wrong. But no one knows because if his good name gets ruined it's all done. No one would want to do business with him anymore. So this is him and mums plan, the Lawsons. They don't even know themselves, they just thought me and Katie was a good fit for their boys. And a twin wedding is kind of special, so yeah..."

"But..." Naomi searched for words, searched for options.

"There's no buts. We're their only hope. If we don't do it, dad has to declare himself bankrupt. The Lawsons are the only choice there is, they've already tried everything else." Emily cast her sorrowful eyes down.

Naomi couldn't think of anything than Emily was going to marry a boy who didn't want her. Who wasn't in love with her. And Emily deserved so much more than that. Her naked body should belong only to them who fell in love with her naked soul.

"You shouldn't have to do this." Naomi's voice was thick with emotion.

"I have to do it. I have to be a conscientious and perfect daughter. I can't turn my back on my family."

"Don't let perfect be the enemy of good, Emily. You're not free until you have no need to impress anybody."

"I could never betray them."

"They're betraying you by doing this. They're betraying you of the life you could have."

Emily looked at Naomi, thankful that she was there. Thankful that she gave her the strength to talk about this.

"You really think what they're doing is wrong?" Emily whispered.

"I know so." she turned to directly look into Emily's eyes, to convey the meaning of the next words. "Emily, I have never believed in anything the way I believe in you."

Emily accepted it then, when her eyes darted between Naomi's that held so much genuineness. She accepted she wasn't a lost cause anymore. She was just lost.


	9. A thousand endings

**When I write I get a lot of inspiration from songs. I listened to _Adam Levine - Lost Stars_ when I wrote this chapter. Check it out, it gives you da feelz.**

**It's not so much quotes on this one, because I used most of them on the last chapter! But yeah, there's some unknown sources, and there's one from Tinkerbell of all things. So, enjoy and tell me what you think :) I'm as always ecstatic for every feedback. **

**Chapter 9: A thousand endings**

One day Naomi got thorns. It wasn't by any means an accident, far from actually. One of the lambs went astray, and it was only noticed when they heard the intense bleating from across the fields. Jonah had been quick to locate it and found the small sheep trapped inside some thorn bushes, his small mother standing outside and calling for him. Jonah saw that he luckily wasn't hurt, but the thorns kept him from escaping. He went back to the house and told of what he'd seen. Naomi and James was quick to their feet and barely got their shoes on as they hurried out the door. It was still early in the morning, and everybody was inside drinking their tea, except for Jonah who was busy locating the flora around the cabin.

James and Naomi was at the scene in no time at all, clearing away the thorn branches to see if the little one was hurt in any way, but he was just scared and sad thankfully. He ran straight over to his mum, and when the girls soon followed, he was rewarded with a cuddling session from Elizabeth and Emily. Elizabeth was oddly caring when it came to the animals, but didn't show much emotions on other fields. Naomi was used to it though, so she didn't fuss, but it was a bit weird for Emily who eyed her with curiosity. Katherine was so absorbed in her own business that she rarely noticed anything but herself these days.

Naomi was watching Emily and Elizabeth fussing around the animals, fondness and warmness filling up her heart of the little twin. She had been inhibiting since Emily had told her about the arrangement a few days ago. She had finally understood the deepness of the sadness laid in that small body, and there was nothing she could do. There was nothing Emily could do. There was nothing anyone could do, and it killed her with the same rate it killed Emily. She would never ever tell Emily to not go through with it, to rob her off her family. This was Emily's choice, and she comprehended why she would marry Peter. Naomi herself would've done everything for the sake of her family, for the sake of James and her mother. So, as much as it hurt her, she kept her mouth shut and accepted the unsuitable fate of her friend.

James was just walking back from clearing a bit more off the bush so they avoided events like this in the future, when Katherine who had been huffing about and being difficult as always peeped up.

"Cook, your hands! They're bleeding!" she pointed, walking over to the larger guy and held up his hands as to inspect them.

"It's not more than Cookie can handle." James chuckled, but let Katherine keep on going either way. In truth, there were actually blood trickling down his wrists, but it was no more than a hard worker was used to.

Naomi suddenly felt a presence next to her, and looked down into incredibly brown and glittering eyes. It literally took her breath away.

"You're bleeding too." Emily said quietly and looked down towards Naomi's hands, where a few thorns was still clawing the skin.

"S'alright." Naomi assured her. "It doesn't hurt." And just when she'd uttered that, she heard a sharp intake of breath from beside her and turned to James cowarding away from Katherine's touch. She looked sheepish for a minute, before her strict look was back.

"That's it. I'm patching you up." she turned to Naomi and Emily, and saw the damage there too. "You too, Naomi. Chop chop, luckily I brought something we can patch you up with. I just _knew _something like this would happen up on this mountain." Katherine swung her long hair from side to side, before starting marching back to the cabin, a very amused James in tow. Naomi and Emily shared a knowing smile, before they also decided to follow.

"Hey, you coming?" Naomi suddenly realises and turns back to Elizabeth, Emily still walking in front of her.

"Don't worry, go get patched up." Elizabeth smirked, and gestured with her eyes to the twin in front of Naomi, almost making Naomi blush. Naomi didn't think twice as of if it had anymore meaning, but it probably had, since it was Elizabeth it came from.

When Naomi entered the cabin, Katherine had already found her little box of medicine and patches. James was leaning apprehensively against the kitchen counter, eyeing the different objects Katherine was pulling out. He had folded his hands, as to protect them from whatever Katherine was planning.

"Aha!" Katherine said triumphantly, pulling out a bottle with some liquid inside.

"What's that?" Naomi asked with scrunched eyebrow, probably sporting the same look as James.

"Is that the herbal mixture?" Emily asked quietly, having moved up close to Katherine after washing her hands in a bowl. Katherine handed her some cotton patches she had stuffed inside her box.

"Yes." Katherine answered Emily, and gave her the bottle too. "Take it, I have some more here somewhere. You sort out Naomi, alright?"

Katherine was determined and competent and was in her right element. Emily could see how much Katherine enjoyed this. Well, not the injuries on their fellow mates, but having the responsibility to fix it. And Emily realised how much it killed her that Katherine would throw away such a gift and will for the marriage that would save their family.

"Alright?" Katherine asked again when Emily didn't answer. Emily shook herself out of her thoughts. "Alright." She nodded and gave a weak smile, leaving Katherine muttering while searching through her box to turn to Naomi. Naomi was standing by the edge of the long counter, stroking over her wounds while looking at Emily with a doubtful face.

"What is that?" she asked again, as Emily stood before her, leaving the items on the counter to screw open the bottle. A strong smell hit their nostrils, and Naomi couldn't do anything but cringe.

"Something that will make it better." Emily said, grabbing a small patch and spilling some liquid over it. Naomi followed her every move, and when Emily finally took one of her hands, she almost shot away at the sudden bolt of heat that travelled up her arm. Emily seemed to feel it too, by the way she suddenly bit her bottom lip and hid behind her fringe.

Naomi looked at the small girl in front of her with wonder for a while, but suddenly she hissed. Emily had placed the patch on her wounds, and was now cleaning them gently. But it stung either way.

"Ow!" James exclaimed at the same time.

"Stand still you moron!" Katherine said harshly, with a strong lisp.

But it all dimmed out into the background for Naomi, as Emily's soft hands skimmed over hers. Her touch was so warm and loving, and Naomi couldn't do anything but stay and be taken care of. It really was such a beautiful act of care.

Naomi was so focused on her rapidly beating heart that she didn't catch that Emily took a calming breath to ease her equally wild heartbeat.

Emily's fingers danced so effortlessly over Naomi's skin. As light as a feather. As burning as a torch. But still so healing. Naomi forgot all the pain, when she caught Emily looking up at her shyly through her eyelashes. It literally took her breath away, this proximity to Emily, and it seemed like Emily replicated these feelings. Her cheeks were flushed, but Naomi couldn't tell why. The brownness in those eyes, though. Naomi could get lost in that colour. Those orbs were the most amazing she had seen.

Emily cleaned and rinsed every wound she found on Naomi's slender hands. Smoothly. Fluently. Tenderly. Passionately. And before Naomi knew it, Emily was packing away the patched and the bottle, having been requested by Katherine who was now finished with a sheepish looking James.

Naomi blinked, once then twice. She caught Emily's eyes one more time, and this unuttered truth sailed between them, created in that instance of a second. And when Emily turned away again to help Katherine put away her stuff, Naomi really understood to what extent there existed beauty and magic in everyone.

* * *

><p>Senses came back to Naomi as she twisted and turned out of the deep slumber she was in. Her eyes met the dark ceiling of the cabin, as every day, but the lightness of her room made her question whether this was a dream. When she hoisted herself up into a sitting position and saw that yes, the boys was not in their bed which explained the lack of snoring noises, she understood that she'd overslept. Irritation crept up her throat as no one had taken the time to wake her.<p>

She hastily flung on her trousers and shed her night shirt for a clean one. She drew the heavy curtains aside to see that the day was indeed well going with or without her presence. But the lack of the sun which was still hiding behind the mountains told her that it wasn't so late in the morning that she'd feared. The others had probably taken an early start and decided to let her sleep in. Naomi breathed a sigh of relief to that. If it was one thing she was afraid of, it was other doing her tasks for her. She was capable of helping out all on her own.

When Naomi had calmed down from the rage she had been building, her thoughts went to what Emily was doing. Was she up? Would she be interested in going out to the tree?

It felt like only yesterday Emily had been stroking Naomi's hands, which she was now nervously wringing together. And it was, yesterday. Something about the way Emily looked at her made her nervous. Made her stomach do flip flops. It had been doing it non stop since yesterday.

Naomi and Emily hadn't found a spare minute to slow down the world and talk to each other after the incidence either, so Naomi's heart had been in knots every time she looked at the smaller girl.

Feeling done with her musings of her strange feelings, Naomi walked out of the bedroom, and found a very relaxed looking Elizabeth lolling in the sofa in the living room.

"Good morning." she greeted hoarsely.

"Where's the boys?" Naomi asked instantly, not sparing any time for Elizabeth's small talk.

"Oh, Cook took JJ out for some practice shooting." Elizabeth waved off, looking away from Naomi, knowing this was not her most urging question.

"And the twins?" Naomi asked again, looking discreetly, but not too discreetly, towards the girls' bedroom. Elizabeth smirked.

"Katie is behind the cabin having a shower, wouldn't disturb her if I was you." she took her time answering, and when nothing was spoken of Emily, Naomi felt herself grow impatient.

"And where is Emily?"

"I don't know really." Elizabeth shrugged, and it wasn't even a lie. "She disappeared a while ago, hasn't seen a trace of her."

Naomi's eyes widened for a second as her heart sped up. But logical thoughts soon calmed her. Of course Emily was alright. She was probably taking a breather from everyone. Possibly thinking over certain ... things. Things that happened yesterday. Things too big for Naomi's mind to wrap around.

"See you, Eff." Naomi bid farewell, and it even shocked Elizabeth how little Naomi did to cover her frankness. There was no question where she was headed now.

Naomi stepped outside in the warming weather, one thing on her mind only. She looked around the corner of the cabin, seeing the boys in the distance. Before them, her tree stood up bravely on this high ground, but sadly the space underneath it was empty. She needed to think of another approach. Another approach to find Emily.

She took a few steps away from the cabin, closed her eyes and took a big breath of the fresh mountain air, filling up her lungs and brain with the newness. And instantly, as she felt the world around her down to her very pores, this awareness awakened within her. An awareness of the universe that triggered emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words.

When Naomi again opened her eyes, the resolution for finding Emily opened too, more strong than ever. She looked towards the mountain tops, finding a strange reassurance in the familiarity of those crooked cliffs.

With that, Naomi started trudging the length of the valley they were situating in, gradually moving upwards. She wasn't sure it was the way, but when after some time she saw a small figure up on a tall hill, she felt herself relax again. Emily was the only light she'd ever known. The only light she's ever seen, even how brief presence it would have in her life.

She approached the girl warily, but not so quietly that Emily wouldn't know she was coming. The brunette didn't make any signs as of weather it was okay or not that Naomi was here with her - if her presence was something she wished for. She was just sitting there, looking over the uneven mountains in the horizon. Flicking her gaze to left and right. Drinking in all the wonders this world had to offer.

Naomi tentavily sat down beside her, not too close, when she reached her. Emily was sitting with knees almost under her chin, so Naomi mimicked her position.

"Hi," Naomi whispered, as she was afraid to break the spellbound stillness that existed here where Emily had been for a while. "Are you alright?"

For the first time Emily looked sideways at Naomi, only receptiveness in her eyes. It still captivated Naomi, these simple looks.

"Yeah." she whispered back, and redirected her line of sight to the faraway places she had been staring at. That had been nursing her soul while her heart and brain had been battling.

Naomi was contented with the answer, and joined Emily in watching the great view. She couldn't help herself though, and threw more than a few glances at her companion.

Suddenly Emily shakes her head gently, looks briefly to the sky before addressing Naomi. Her face was warm, adoring the sight before her. Naomi was pending, waiting for whatever Emily would share with her.

"Naomi..." Emily breathes out, and it's so soft that Naomi has to close her eyes to save the emotions saying her name in _that _tone stirred.

"I..." Emily started again, continuing only when Naomi opened her eyes, "I think of you in a way I probably should be thinking about a boy."

Naomi's heart skipped a beat when she saw the truth in those brown orbs. The words was so genuine, so mellow but yet so strong that Naomi at once uttered the only reply she could possibly have.

"I think of you that way too."

Emily's eyes didn't show surprise. No, if anything they showed more warmth than before, more delight at this. Maybe even some relief, but not much. For whatever reason, Emily knew this. Emily knew Naomi. But as quickly as this wave of truth and contentment and glee had washed over them from these required feelings, it was also lost in the ocean of other tangled truths.

"But you're a girl." Emily stated, needing to look away for the pending doom. Naomi swallowed a lump in her throat.

"I'm a girl." she agreed and realised, nodding to herself. Both accepting and understanding this fact.

"And I'm engaged." Emily continued, her eyes now glued to the distant and blurred peaks. But they didn't offer her comfort anymore.

"And you're engaged." Naomi further acknowledged. Their admission was briskly turning bittersweet.

It was like someone gave Naomi these broken wings and told her to fly. But flying wasn't a possibility in this reality.

And not for the first time, Naomi found herself cursing this decayed society.


	10. Close the curtain

**Hi guys! Hope you all had a very merry christmas! I know I'm on overtime with this one, but now I'm here!**

**Creds: Sex and the city, Mulan, John Green, To kill a mockingbird, Bob Marley and Henry Miller.**

**Chapter 10: Close the curtain**

_Sometimes you meet someone, and it's so clear that the two of you, on some level, belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you're in love or you're partners in crime. You meet these people throughout life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. _

_I don't know if that makes one believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely made Naomi believe in _something.

The glances that were cast became longer. The presence of the other were more openly wanted. The feelings were new, and at the same time not. They were just admitted. And that made it almost scarier. That this wasn't something they were in alone.

They never touched, though. It almost made them shy again, this. This knowing.

But there was also another knowing. A greater knowing. A greater fact. It overruled this that they had acknowledged. It created a battle.

It created a battle between what they knew and what they felt.

* * *

><p>It was no denying it, they watched each other more now when they were around the cabin. It might've been going past all those oblivious to anything but themselves, or those who didn't pay attention, but admittedly they did. Emily would sit by the diner table, trying to read one of her books, and failing greatly at keeping the concentration. Her eyes strayed to Naomi almost by a default, wherever she was in the room. Whether she was making or cleaning something by the kitchen counter or lightly bantering with James somewhere else. She had always been good at shutting out the noise, getting lost in the world of words on a page, but this was bigger than anything from her past. Bigger than anything she'd known, really.<p>

In return, Naomi was weighted down with the same urges, the same unplanned shifting of focus when Emily was near. She noticed little things she had either overlooked before or hadn't recognised before. Like how patient and caring she always was with Jonah. Listened dutifully to some of his ramblings, and stopped him when she saw it was getting out of hand. Naomi felt so stupid for once swapping it for anything else, because it was so clear to her when she watched them together. They were tied by many years together, establishing their understanding and love for each other, like siblings would do. Naomi couldn't be mad for Emily and Jonah's friendship. It was, after all, just another reminder to Naomi of the loving soul belonging to one Emily Fitch.

But watching Emily like this, also meant that Naomi further registered her exchanges with Katherine. She saw how Katherine had the tendency to walk all over her twin sister. Saw how bravely Emily took it. Saw how Emily obviously did it out of love. But despite it, Naomi couldn't help to despise it. Because it did put Emily down, put her down to something Naomi knew she was high above. And when she watched the interactions, Naomi appreciated who Emily was even more.

The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.

* * *

><p>They still kept under the three, and that day was no exception. The exception was the time of day. The sky was cloudless, and the sun had set behind the mountains hours ago. Galaxies was lighting above them, where they laid side by side in growing grass.<p>

As Naomi watched the patterns made by light balls hundred of thousands of miles away, she envied the picture she saw above her. Her thoughts were stars too, only she couldn't fathom them into constellations.

She looked sideways, to Emily. The smooth contours of her face in the soft moonlight glowed beautifully. And as she had felt Naomi looking, she tilted her head and smiled back at the blonde. It was alarming truly, how disarming she could be.

"How is it like being a twin?" Naomi asked. She was curious, because the only remotely close thing she had to a sibling were James, and still they were old enough to understand it when their lives were mashed together. Of course they had to share things, but Naomi held the impression that Emily had shared most of everything.

"I can't speak for all twins.." Emily started, her eyes marvelling in the magnificence the mountains represented bathed in starlight, "but being Katies twin can be challenging at times."

Naomi just kept her gaze at the small girl beside her, showing her attention. Emily licked her lips before she continued.

"She's quite demanding, and I find it easier to bend to her wishes. Her and mums, both. One should know what chaos would unravel if not."

"Your mum too, huh?" Naomi just wanted to keep Emily talking. It wasn't often she was so sharing with her personal stuff, but she had become more daring in trusting Naomi lately.

"Yes, especially her. I suspect Katie has inherited it from her." Emily shrugged. "They are both takers, and I guess that forced me to become a giver. I mean, I don't complain, it's not that big of a deal. A lot of people has it worse. And besides, I can always escape them if everything gets too much."

Naomi nodded at this, her eyes transfixed.

"JJ has always been a great reliance. He's not a taker, so he never expected anything from me. And since our parents were friends and neighbours, we naturally acquainted and eventually befriended. He's with us this summer because mum would never let us go alone, and so she and dad decided to tell JJ's parents about our situation and luckily they let him companion us."

"Huh," Naomi wondered out loud. "I guess I always wondered why people of your economical background suddenly decided to herd with us for a summer, but I never thought of asking."

"Yeah." Emily smiled. She always smiled when Naomi proved her right about her. She didn't make assumptions or judge. It was refreshing. It was astounding to Emily. "We really need the money we get of this, but it had to be kept a secret. So to everyone else of mum and dads friends we're off to a university overseas for the summer."

"Hmm." Naomi mused, thinking about how it would be going to a university. "I guess I should shut my mouth when we get back down, then."

"I guess." Emily shrugged, not looking like she would care whatever Naomi would say or not about the matter. She turned her head again, her sizzling eyes finding Naomi again. "I think Katie is the one that's most against this summer. I'm not so much."

"No?" Naomi felt her lips tug at the ends.

"No." Emily answered, self-satisfied. She turned away with a smug smile of Naomi's reaction, clearly done with the matter.

"What about Peter?" Naomi asked, and she instantly felt the girl next to her freeze.

"What about him?" came the shaky reply.

"He thinks you're at a university too?"

"Well, yeah." Emily shifted a bit, "like I said, they don't know about our situation. And it's not like it would hurt their heritage or wealth, this marriage. But they probably wouldn't go through with it if they knew how disadvantaged we've become. I mean, mum, dad and James will barely make it through with the income of this summer me and Katie are working."

Naomi thought of all the things Emily's fiancee seemed to not know about her. Not just about the position of their family, but her as a person. He seemed clueless to Naomi. So undeserving.

"How much time have you spent with him?" Naomi whispered, just a tad bit higher than the sounds the crickets hidden about behind straws and bushes made.

"With Peter?" Emily exclaimed a bit brash, before she maintained. "Um, quite a bit." It made Naomi gulp.

"Oh, yeah. I guess it's wise starting to play happy family before the wedding." she said offhandedly, looking away.

"It's not like that. The whole family visits, so me and Katie can spend time with them. But Peter's never interested in talking with me for a long time. He either disappears into his library or talks politics and business with the other men present. And as he's said many times, that's not something for me to indulge in." Emily shrugged. "So yes, we've spent time together, but it's more on his premises than anything else."

Naomi felt something ugly grow inside her of these words. She hated men like that, who put women down and declared some activities were not for them. She hated them like the plague. She out of everyone knew how resourceful and strong a woman could be without a man. She saw it everyday in her mother. And not to talk about how resourceful and strong James' dad was _not._

And even though Naomi had seen it, maybe sometimes been on the receiving end of bits of the discrimination, she couldn't really know how this had affected Emily's core. You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view - until you climb into their skin and walk around in it. And even though Naomi made a pretty good job at it, she could never really _be _Emily and _feel _what she felt. But little did Naomi know then, that she would be the closest one would ever come to this beautiful girl.

They kept talking quietly to each other, whispers in the night. About Emily. About her family. About her future. In the background, Naomi knew it was misery in this. But she couldn't really make herself face it, when Emily was lying so close and listening to her pointing out distant constellations to her.

It's only once in your life you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that makes you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. The things that seem insignificant to most people, such as a note, word or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seem part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all.

In their presence, there's no need for continuos conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is special to you.

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud in the horizon. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing _she_ is a part of your life.

Thoughts like this swirled inside Emily's mind as she adoringly watched and followed Naomi talk about the stars. It was one old renter who had told her the crazy and probably slightly untrue stories which she was now retelling Emily. And while Emily looked at Naomi, and everything she represented in her life, it hit her hard. That this young girl with short unruly hair, wild blue eyes and a crooked half smile could set her insides on fire.

This was maybe the greatest damn thing about the universe. That we can know so much, recognise so much, dissect, do everything, and we can't grasp it.


	11. Somewhere

**... aaand a happy new yeeeeear!  
>No? Not yet? Oh well, at least, soon! <strong>

**I'm really happy with this chapter :) I'm sorry if something offend anyone, it really isn't my intention, but this chapter discuss topics I find difficult. Either way, I hope you enjoy it. I enjoyed writing it. :)**

**In this chapter, I've gathered words from Abbey Lee Kershaw, Warsan Shire (forgot her the first round!), Charles Bukowski, Gandhi, Walt Whitman, Pretty Little Liars, Aristotle, Albert Einstein, Richard Dawkins, Anthony Marra and from A Prisoner (1971). **

**Chapter 11: Somewhere**

It was early noon, and the most important tasks for the day was done with. James was walking on the lower fields, contemplating when they should start cutting the hay. He went from side to side, back bent, studying the length of the straws. He had announced during breakfast that they should start thinking about making the fence the hay was going to dry on ready, so he was now making the exact plans in his head. Jonah, who was greatly interested in straws and lengths of them, all that could be linked to the flora really, was on his way down to discuss the matter with the more experienced farm boy.

Emily and Naomi had trekked to the eastern wall, or the sunny wall, to enjoy the warmest time of the day together. They had brought some slices of bread that they were munching on. It was freshly baked, made by Emily, and Naomi couldn't stop the compliments that kept flowing. Ickle Terence and his mother had moved up to where they were leaning against the wall when they detected the lovely, brisk smell.

Emily broke off some of hers and gave the crumbles to the small goat. He eagerly lapped up the spilling food, while Naomi distractedly petted him, too busy frowning at what Emily was doing.

"Are you sure it's alright giving it to the animals?" she questioned.

"What harm could it do?" Emily shrugged. It wasn't much she was giving away. She knew she couldn't be too careless with their supplies.

"I don't know," Naomi mused, because really, she didn't. "It might get them sick."

Emily raised one single eyebrow as she turned to look at Naomi. "I'm pretty sure that they eat all the ingredients in this bread anyways."

Naomi just turned away and shook her head in amusement. She had learned not to question the little twin too much, because more often than not, she turned out to be wiser than Naomi herself.

When Terence wobbled over to Emily to rest his head on her thigh, Naomi got the time to breathe in the day as Emily was busy for the moment. She appreciated the temperature, the smell and finally the beautiful view she often dreamt of when she was home.

"God, I love this place." she breathed out as she fully relaxed of both the place and the company. Emily shifted her attention back to her then, the goats scurrying down the hill when they realised Emily didn't have more bread to give. Warm and calm eyes rested on the manly dressed body of the beautiful girl beside her. Emily arranged her skirt over her feet before she directed Naomi again.

"How many years have you come here?"

"This is only my second. Effy's too. Her older brother, Tony, and his friends had the job before us, but he has his own house to tend to these days. Effy dragged me and Cook with her last year. Nicest whereabouts I've been, really." Naomi lifted her hands behind her head, and mused at the sun.

"So you, Effy and Cook where here last year, yeah?" Emily asked through half closed eyes lids. The sun was strong and penetrating.

"Yeah." Naomi agreed.

"You did everything by yourselves?" Emily asked a little surprised.

"Oh no, we were six people then too."

"Tell me about them. Tell me about last year." Emily urged. She secretly loved when Naomi talked. It wasn't reprehensible like with so many other in her life. No, Naomi made her laugh. She was witty, and she especially loved it when she told tales from her mothers inn. She liked people like that. People with depth, with emotion, people with a strong mind, a twisted mind. Someone to make her smile.

"Well, last year was ... eventful. A lot more tumultuous than this year." Naomi smiled to herself.

"Like how?" Emily had glee in her eyes.

"There were three others with us. I'm sure you haven't heard of anyone of them before." Naomi continued. "We had Frederick McClair, or Freddie for short. He was a lazy wanker. Tall guy, with pitch black hair. Very sunbathed skin. He had a friendly first impression, and he and Cook became real good chums. But we didn't know Freddie had this thing about getting obsessed with things, and then he fell madly in love with Effy." Naomi chuckles.

"Really?" came the invested answer from Emily. "What happened?"

"He was obsessed with her alright. Did everything he could to impress her. Head over heals, for sure. I pitied him really, the whole affair was sad. Because Effy is the last person you want to get a crush on."

"How come?"

"She's not the one for romance, never was. I mean, she've actually had a couple of guys proposing, because her beauty is said to be enchanting, but she've turned them down, every one of them like the last. And Freddie was no exception. Not that he asked for her hand in marriage, put he was creepy enough. He did everything to get her attention, and sometimes he just used hours staring at her. So no story of success there to write home about. He wouldn't have handled another year being crushed by Effy's declines." Naomi chuckled. "Do you understand the madness which took place here last year? And this is just one of the three."

Emily giggled at the dramatic tone Naomi had acquainted. "Tell me about the others." She requested.

"Well, then there was Panda."

"Panda?" Emily humored.

"Yes, her real name Pandora Moon. Don't ask, but her weird name fits her weird personality perfectly. She was adorable and dorky and odd. I don't even know how to describe her!" Naomi searched the mountains with her eyes for words.

"She and Effy got on like fire and grass, I'm telling you. Their friendship was so weird, but at the same time it made perfect sense. You've noticed Effy's an animal spirit, yeah?" Naomi turned her head to see Emily nod as she listened intently. "Well, so was Panda. She practically lived at one with them. Not that regular at peace with nature scheme, but she was as wild as it. One should now Panda brings no peace wherever she goes."

Emily laughed heartily at Naomi's explaining.

"She was so random!" Naomi laughed along. "One time I saw her practically bolting after a goat, two buckets in her hands, yelling for it to stop so she could milk it! She always had these bands on either side of her hair, looking like she had two ponytails. They always jumped in the breeze when she got one of those incidents where she was crazily running around."

"Oh god!" Emily had to dry some tears that streamed down her cheeks. "She sounds remarkable! Shame we don't have that entertainment this year."

"Yeah," Naomi agreed with raised eyebrows. "And one should think that no one would find that thing endearing other than in the moment or in small doses, but Pandora fell in love on this mountain."

"Oh?" Emily's curiosity perked.

"Yes. She fell in love with Thomas Tomone."

"Aww." Emily smiled, but then continued. "Wait a minute! Before you tell me this cute love story... There were four men and two women her last year? And this went to the opposite this year?"

"Well, yeah, I guess it did." Naomi shrugged, not looking startled at the fact. "I mean, in my opinion, and in most others around here, female workers do just as good as a job as the males. And I've not come across any difficulties this year, so..." she shrugged again.

Emily smiled of this. Smiled of how different it was from how she was used to. Liked the equality of it. "Okay, now tell me about Thomas." Naomi suddenly got a dark look on her face when Emily said his name, and in Emily's eyes it was utterly uncalled for. "What is it?" her voice revealed alarm, "you didn't like him?"

"No, no." Naomi shook herself, looking back at Emily. The blueness in her eyes slowly coming back. "He's the most pleasant and polite bloke I've ever come across, actually."

"So what is it?" Emily tried again.

"He.. he's black."

"And that's a problem?" Emily asked indignantly. This was not fitting her picture of Naomi at all.

"No! NO! That's not it!" Naomi was quick to defend. "He's one of the best guys I've ever known. Never said a bad word about anyone or anything. He even fell in love with the innocent and silly Pandora. He's what everyone should strive to be like, and still he's getting so much down calls and ugly remarks just because his skin colour is not like ours. It just makes me a bit angry, is all." Naomi looked down. The tightness in Emily's chest evaporated completely. How could she ever doubt Naomi?

"Oh right..." she was at a loss of words. "So he and Pandora fell in love, eh?"

"Yes." Naomi smiled. "It was sickening, sometimes, their dooey love look. He always looked at her with such admiration, and she really needed someone like him to look after her. Not in the way that she was unfit to make it on her own, but he was good for her. The care and protection he provided. And it genuinely looked like she lit up his life."

"That's lovely." Emily closed her eyes, trying to picture them up here.

"Yes. Now they have a house and everything together. Some animals. They're really happy." Naomi said softly. She looked so delighted for her friends. But then the dark look returned. "But it's not easy for them. Thomas has difficulties finding alternate jobs and such to keep his family alive. He's a fantastic worker, but then there's all this discrimination. It's ridiculous."

"Too right." Emily agreed. She had actually thought a lot about this herself, but in her circle there weren't many who spoke the multicoloured's word.

"Do you know what I wish upon those who is gruesome to him?" Naomi suddenly bursted out. She looked intense like this.

"No?" Emily looked at her, loving the abandon in the other girl. She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire.

"I wish them a long life full of tables with uneven legs." she started seriously, widening Emily's eyes in the process. But of amusement. "I wish them the sensation of a thousand lost sneezes!" she continued, "And the world's smallest bladder. And that group conversations always change as soon as they think of a clever comment!"

Emily couldn't hold it then, as she burst out laughing. "Naomi, you're mad!" she stuttered through giggles, taking Naomi with her in the fit.

"What can I say?" Naomi said, as to show that she was not sorry for this uttering at all, "I have my mother's mouth and my father's eyes. On my face they're still together."

Emily decided to overlook the sadness behind the words. She knew Naomi's father's leaving was hard for the blonde, and she rarely wanted to speak in depth about it.

"Is your mother a spitfire too?" Emily grinned. Naomi smirked back at her, as if that would answer her question.

"You know," Emily regaled, "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Naomi puffed. "As always you're right." she pouted. She liked the nature of this girl. She was curious, not judgmental. Where Naomi was bitter and angry, Emily was fair and calm. "But really, Emily. You're too nice for your own good. I'll tell you what I know about people: They're no damn good. Everybody's looking out for themselves. That's the simple truth."

"Yeah..." Emily thought out loud. "Doesn't mean we have to be like that though."

"Hmm." Naomi sounded. She might not agree with the girl, but she was not about crush her spirit entirely either.

"There's that saying.." Emily scrunched her eyebrows as she tried to remember, "_to avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing and be nothing._"

"Who said that?"

"Aristotle." Emily answered.

"Wise saying, that." Naomi said bluntly. She didn't know how Emily got through. All the criticism she dodged every day. Naomi would go mad. She didn't own an ounce of the strength Emily sported. Emily would probably survive longer than Naomi out there. She seemed unbreakable to Naomi. Where Naomi would cave, Emily would go on. If Emily used that quality like she wanted, she would move mountains.

"I do agree with you Emily," Naomi said quietly. "But the world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but those who look on and do nothing."

Emily gulped at Naomi's words. She felt oddly hit by them, felt she could be sorted into the group who looked on and did nothing. But no, she couldn't think like that. Surely she would stop it if something evil happened right? And even then, it wasn't that simple. Most situations had many sides, many possibilities, many ulterior motives. What was right for one person might not be right for the other. Or did something like that exist? A higher moral? She decided to let the matter rest for now. This was for late nights and restless minds.

"I don't know if I dare ask you about religion." Emily decided to lighten up both herself and this inspiring soul beside her.

"Oh, don't even get me started." Naomi rolled her eyes. She hadn't really grown up in _that _kind of a spirited household. Yes, her mother was somewhat of a free soul, but Gods weren't believed in.

Emily giggled, before taking Naomi off guard. "I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."

"Wait." Naomi backtracked. "_You're _against something?"

"Well, yeah!" Emily comically said. "I'm not disrespecting or mean to anyone who's religious of course, but for myself I wouldn't call me a believer. I mean, many of the morals and values are good, but religion can lead to so much bad. And it teaches so much misconceptions." Naomi half smiled at Emily, for the nth time, taking in the wonders and surprises she brought. "And well, being the friend of one scientific JJ could challenge you if you were religious." she giggled.

"You're really something." Naomi smiled. "And don't doubt my standpoint on it. My blasphemy is out of control." this made Emily giggle even more.

It was quiet for a bit. Both of the girls aching in their cheeks after all the laugh of the challenging and occasionally diverting conversation. They contemplated humanity and how the others opinions fitted into their own. Naomi's mind strayed to wars and conflicts and what seemed like trivial matters over taking lives and dignity. Her voice was a bit hoarse when she spoke again.

"We west clothes and speak, and create civilisations, and believe we are more than wolves... But inside us there is a word we cannot pronounce and that is who we are."

Emily looked to Naomi. Saw the doubt there. The crippling qualm.

"Living on earth is expensive like that," she licked her lips, "but it does include a free trip around the sun." Emily finished jokingly, with a twitch of her mouth. Naomi snapped her eyes to Emily, saw the mischief in her eyes and couldn't help herself. She lightly shoved the smaller girls shoulder as the laughter tumbled out.

Naomi had learned that people can easily forget that others are human. But as she looked sideways at Emily with hilarity glazing in her eyes, she thought that remembering wouldn't be so hard with someone like her beside her.


	12. Tomorrow doesn't matter

**Hi guys, sorry for the wait. Hope this makes up for it :)**

**This chapter didn't go exactly as planned. There were some .. happenings I wasn't prepared for. But who can stop Katie Fitch when she's on a roll, eh? Hope you like it.**

**S: John Green, Lana Del Rey, Mia Wallace, Jay Gatsby, Chuck Palahniuk and something that I noted down as 'Dammit, Michelle'.**

**And I'm aware that the title of this chapter may be confusing to the content. But honestly, it's supposed to appeal to the moments Naomi and Emily share by themselves. Just so you know.**

**Chapter 12: Tomorrow doesn't matter**

"Do you ever wonder whether people would like you more or less if they could see inside you?" Emily asked airily one day. She had always wondered about that. If people could see her the way she saw herself, and live in her memories... Would anyone, _anyone_, love her?

They were once again resting under the tree after a heavy dinner, both on their backs facing the sky. Well, at least Emily was, Naomi, on the other hand, had dragged her hat down over her face to shield the sunlight. Emily had her hands folded over her stomach, knees bent and her hair wildly flowing around her head. She'd been lying like that for a while, breathing calmly with her stomach, thinking about what the truth would bring and change in her life.

There was a grunt from under the hat, which immediately set off a smile on Emily's face. She was used to this by now, Naomi's brash sounds when she surprised her. Or sneaked upon her to scare her. She quite liked them, liked the openness and trust behind it. The genuinity about it.

She felt like she could voice almost anything before Naomi now. She never met any discrimination or doubtfulness. She loved people like Naomi, who were open-minded. People who just vibed with whatever you talked about. You could talk about anything and everything.

"I guess..." Naomi muttered, and Emily heard some rustling. And when she turned her eyes from the cloud free blue above her, she met the same blue in her eyes. "But I think no one could see inside you. Even though how much true you speak, there's always something left behind. Some sort of last safety. And that's okay."

"You don't think it's possible to tell the entire truth to anyone?" Emily turned to her side, resting her meeting palms under her head, gazing down on the girl beside her. Naomi moved her slender hands down into the pockets of her trousers, and shrugged her shoulders.

"Of course you can tell the truth to people, but I don't think one could actually tell anyone _everything _that's inside one. That would be impossible."

"But you can try, right? If you really want to share everything, is that possible?" Emily questioned, very intrigued about the blonde's mindset.

"I don't know, Emily." Naomi bit her lip. "I don't know what would drive someone to do that in the first place. Say everything. Show everything. It seems like the biggest risk there is."

But Naomi knew what drove people to do it. She'd known for a while. When you're an introvert like Naomi, and you've been lonely for a while, and then you find someone who understands you, you become really attached to them. And that was the key, understanding. Acceptance. It was a real release.

"But that's not even what I asked. Say it was possible, and someone could see every part of you. Do you think anyone would love you?" Emily whispered the last bit, eyes cast down in the fear of the answer. She studied the grass straws in front of her, followed a small green beetle with her sight while she waited for Naomi.

"Is that a general or specific question?" Naomi was frowning upwards, shifting in her place. She didn't dare say too much. With Emily, she had sadly nothing to gain.

"Maybe it's both." Came the answer from the round and well formed lips of the little twin.

"I don't think it can be both. Because the answer isn't the same." Naomi dared a glance to Emily.

"What do you mean the answer isn't the same? Wouldn't it apply to all people?"

"No." Naomi said simply. "It's up to the person. Like, the answer wouldn't be the same for you and everyone else."

Emily's breath hitched, and she voiced her next question despite the wildly beating under her skin.

"And if it was about me?"

Naomi turned to look deeply into Emily's pearl-round and golden brown eyes, holding her breath as she gazed on. She didn't want anything from Emily. Nothing at all, really. She just wanted to be the person she chose to sit next to in a room full with everyone Emily had known.

"Then the answer would be yes." Naomi's eyes trailed all over the surprised brunette's face, before she looked away, dragging down her oversized, checked shirt. Her hands fell to her sides, resting idly in the grass. Her heart was overheating, and her brain was working too hard.

Emily swallowed. Hard. She couldn't afford to let this get to her, but obligations and clear headed thinking was soon becoming a foreign language. She ignored the twinkling in the blue eyes for now. Couldn't really do much of anything anyway, not when Elizabeth and her sister were strolling nearby.

"That would be a lot of dark and hidden secrets to love. Maybe I'm not so sure after all." Emily rolled on her back once again, dodging the fire who came up too close.

Naomi just shrugged to it, and Emily knew Naomi had meant what she said before. It was silent for a while, and Emily was sure she had ruined the easiness between them with getting too serious until Naomi seemingly had collected herself and was now smirking at Emily.

"A bit philosophical today, are we Em?"

"Oh that was nothing," Emily bantered back, "I was just about to ask how weird it is to even have the ability to think. Like, are the body and our inner life even connected? Do we die even when our heart stops beating? Is the soul meant for just one person, or is it split in half, like two puzzle pieces going around?"

Emily ranted on, while Naomi raised her eyebrows more and more in amusement. She shook her head slowly, once again amazed by all that lived inside that small head, before she looked up into the endless sky. Did it ever stop? How far away was the sun? Was there something beyond the sun? Naomi became awfully quiet then, actually becoming philosophical of the input the smaller girl distributed.

"How strange it is to be anything at all." Naomi muttered quietly, suddenly questioning everything. Darn, she would really need a conversation with Jonah now. He would always propose logical and sense making propositions to whatever people would discuss. Sometimes she envied him, how he always seemed content with grasping only the knowledgable. That which made sense. Which could be proved. But as she looked at Emily, which had inherited her look of mulling, she wondered how anyone dealt with _this. _

She couldn't describe it, only remembered the story of how the sun loved the moon so much, he died every night to let her breathe.

* * *

><p>Katherine was embroidering on a little white cloth on the kitchen table that night. She was making beautiful patterns, in gold and blue. And, of course, she was blabbering constantly to Elizabeth, who was sitting across from her on another chair, following the enchanting movements of her hand as she moved it in and then dragged the thread through. Again and again. Naomi imagined it calmed Elizabeth, from where she was stood leaning against the kitchen counter. Emily was sitting on the couch, seemingly engrossed in her book, but Naomi knew from the few looks she had stole, that she was very aware of her surroundings.<p>

"Once when I was at old lady Krista, that girl ... oh what was her name. Emily, what was that girl's name, the one who was at that sewing class at Krista when you got that woven carpet wrong? The one with the curly, red hair? Kind of small?" Katherine questioned, barely taking her eyes away from what she was doing.

"Juliet." Emily said quietly, accustomed to _having _to listen to her sisters ramblings, because if she weren't... god help her.

"Right, right! Juliet it was, so yeah, Juliet was at her house too. And apparently she was known for being, like, really clever at embroidering, it even went around rumours that she was so good that she could make more beautiful pieces than anyone in the village really. And it _certainly _would secure her a good husband with skills like that. And then she came to Krista, and we all did the same work of embroidering, everyone who had been there before and then her. And when I delivered my final piece to the old maid, what did she say about Juliet's piece Emily?"

Emily closed her book, it seemed like her sister wouldn't leave her alone this time.

"She said that Juliet's embroider was a piece of crafting that would make eyes turn in the thickest part of the capital..."

"BUT-" Katherine cut her off rudely and with an excited grin, staring intently at Elizabeth, "my sample of the same design was even more extraordinary and reflected more skill than what Juliet had done."

She still smiled smugly when she went back to her entrancing sewing. Elizabeth's face hadn't really shown any impression of the story, but she was obviously too accustomed to such boasting by now. Naomi raised an eyebrow at Emily from behind her cup of tea, which resulted in an eye roll from the twin sat cozily on the couch.

"Alright, ladies!" James greeted as he escaped from their room. He and Jonah had gone in there a while ago, doing ... something. Naomi didn't really catch anything beyond one person these days.

James kissed Elizabeth on her head, lovingly but platonic before skimming down at what Katherine was doing.

"Woah, Katiekins, you already started on your dress for our wedding?" James grinned, and laughed pertly. He was ambulating right in front of where she was working intently, shielding her work light.

"No." She scrunched up her face.

"Ah, come on luv, when are you gonna accept my proposals eh?" James kidded, wanting to stir something up in the louder twin.

Katherine looked up at him then, her eyes terrible small from being held together to a point of scowling. And when Emily saw the beginning of a smirk on Katherine's lips, she gulped with nerves. She knew what was coming.

Emily's theory was that when it came to important subjects, there were only two ways a person could answer. Which way they choose, tells you who that person is. For instance, there are only two kinds of people in the world, 'cat' people and 'dog' people. Now cat people can like dogs and dog people can like cats, but nobody likes them both equally. Somewhere you have to make a choice. And that choice, tells you who you are.

And Emily knew, that if she would've been in Katherine's shoes right now, provoked to this degree, that what was about to happen wouldn't. She would probably keep quiet about the whole thing. It was what they were supposed to do anyway. And Emily also knew, that this deviation was the reason that she was different to her sister. People always assumed they were alike in all aspects, because after all, they were _identical. _But this theory, this theory proved to Emily that they weren't, in fact, identical.

"Actually, _luv," _Katherine begins spitefully, "Your proposals are going to waste."

This earned the attention of the whole room, especially Elizabeth's who managed to sit up more straight, obediently hanging on to the words.

"What?" James shuffled backwards to Naomi, leaning against the counter beside her but still keeping his eyes on Katherine.

Emily should probably stop what was coming. But how could she. _And what would it change, anyway? _Probably nothing.

"You heard me," Katherine said smugly, "I'm taken. I'm _engaged. _Emsy is too. They're quite the studs, really. Well handsome I must say. And rich too. Daddy dear wouldn't want us marrying yokels, you know." she smirked at James, and kept embroidering in a calm manner, completely missing the looks Naomi and Emily exchanged.

Emily shifted. She was sitting silently on the bench, staring at her hands in her lap.

"Ouch, honey, you're breaking a poor guy's heart." James said humorously, grasping his chest for emphasis. But one could detect some genuine disappointment in there, if one cared to look.

Elizabeth was shifting her gaze from Katherine to study the others in the room. She glided effortlessly past everyone but Naomi, who she stopped and raised a single eyebrow accompanied by a suspicious stare. Out of the lack of surprise on her face, Naomi concluded.

"Sorry, Cook." Katherine said sugar sweetly, not sounding sorry at all. "They're _twins _though, me and Emily's fiancees. And Andrew, who is mine, he's just so dreamy. Our wedding will be astounding and wonderful, just think about it - a double twin wedding! Every mouth will hang open in admiration, let me tell you. We even rented the town hall for the venue."

Katherine, who had been smiling to herself staring at her work, suddenly turned to address James directly. She raised one eyebrow at him, "So what do you got that Andrew doesn't eh?" she smiled cruelly. "I'm going to be rich. Emsy too. You've heard about the Lawsons, right?"

James couldn't hide a small gasp at that. "What about charisma?" he tried with a boyish grin.

"Right, like Andrew lack of that." Katherine dismissed right away. "So we're going to get big houses, Emsy and me. And two well-known and highly respected men for husbands. Can't do much better than that, eh? We'll be neighbours, of course. With similar houses in a high-class society. Well, mine might actually be a little bit bigger than Emsy's, since Andrew has an eye for architecture." Katherine shrugged at that. "I nearly can't wait!" she turned to the bench, where Emily was stilling staring at her lap, slight pout on her face. Elizabeth followed her line of sight. "Right, Emily?"

"Right." Emily mumbled and nodded simultaneously. She was used to answer these questions with enthusiasm in front of her sister and mum. But there was someone she could never turn her back on. Someone as soft as moonlight, gently calming... like easy winds on summer nights. She had never experienced such calmness Naomi had provided her, but right now she felt anything but. Thankfully her sister didn't pick up on, or chose not to pick up on, her lack of excitement.

"It's gonna be everything we ever dreamt of. Like a fairytale." Katherine continued, almost illusory. "They'll set us up with servants and we'll have fancy carriages and amazing gardens and whatever we ask for. They'll provide for us for the rest of our lives. And we're going to attend so much parties and there's going to be so many that's going to be jealous of us, that the two greatest men in town are in love with us. It will be perfect. Right Emsy? It will be _so_ perfect."

Emily squeezed her fists tight for a second, before swallowing hard, agreeing to whatever her _darling _sister would say. Katherine kept rambling about their perfect futures, and Emily felt the walls closing in on her. She stood up abruptly, earning a tousled look from her sister.

"Umm, sorry, just need to go to the loo." Emily excused herself, and went towards the door.

Suddenly the ever so muted Elizabeth spoke. "You should follow her." She was looking directly at Naomi, who gave her a questioning frown in return. Emily had also stopped fastening her shoes to look dazzled at the brunette. "So she doesn't stumble on the rocks." Elizabeth coolly explained.

"Right." Naomi said quickly, not quite doubting that Emily would be fine going down to the outhouse. But heck, a minute alone with the twin was never unwanted. "Right." she said again, setting her cup on the counter and slapping James gently on the shoulder in the process, in sympathy of course. "I might just do that."

Naomi grabbed an oil lamp and lightened it, soon to jump into her shoes as she discovered Emily was already out the door. She took a deep breath as she met the slightly chilly night air. Her eyes closed as she remembered her mother's words. Always urging her to aim high. She always used to say to Naomi every night when she tucked her in, lightly brushing her blonde fringe from her forehead. '_If your dream doesn't scare you, it isn't big enough.'_

Naomi opened her eyes again, looked to the staggering girl in front of her. She was walking blindly through the darkness, not haven the patience to wait for Naomi and the light. The blonde was quick on her feet and not far behind.

"Emily" she faintly called out. The twin stopped in her track and turned back to the pure girl behind her, standing so attentive and gentle there. There for her. "I want to be your idea of perfect." Naomi laid her heart on the line, haven seen the broken look on Emily's face as she went out. Wanting to make it all okay.

She saw Emily's face darken with emotion, before she took a few determined to the girl in front of her.

"But don't you get it, Naomi? I don't want perfect, I want honest!" Her voice was angry, even. She was not angry with Naomi, not at all. She didn't know who she was angry with, maybe it was herself. It all seemed so hopeless, so before those first tears started streaming, she turned swiftly from the pleading look on the other girl's face and walked down to the outhouse, bolting the door behind her.

Naomi sighed deeply. What had she expected? She knew there was no chance for them. She knew everything had a time stamp, and as pure and dutiful Emily was, she was never going to betray an engagement pact. Naomi both understood and respected that. But it honestly just blew. And it wasn't like they were going to _do _anything anyway. What could they do, both young and so inexperienced and so, _so, _pure and innocent.

When she sauntered down to the outhouse to wait for Emily, she thought of how the unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumble. Wood rot. People, well, they disappear too. But things as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on...

Meanwhile inside, Emily was sitting heavily on the lid, with her head buried in her hands. She wouldn't sob, she just wouldn't. She had heard Naomi walking after her, knew that she was standing outside waiting.

Emily had spent her whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how she would escape it one day, how magnificent it would be. She would break free from the lifestyle of her parents. Their expectations. The society's expectations for her as a girl. Everything. She imagined her future and it had kept her going, but she had never done it. And lately, that future had been more defined. She could almost taste it sometimes. Some afternoons under that tree. But she knew there was no way out. Soon she would be even more buried in the labyrinth. She just used the future to escape the present.

She finally collected herself in there, not even needing the loo, just a break. She rubbed under her eyes, gently, so there wouldn't be any red marks.

Belatedly she opened the door, and Naomi who had obviously sat down while she waited, scrambled to her feet, looking at Emily with big eyes through the faint light of her lamp. Emily looked back too. Deep eyes meeting somewhere in the middle.

"I'm sorry." Emily said in the end, averting her gaze to the dark ground.

"No," Naomi said softly, "you have nothing to apologise for."

Emily looked up and saw a small, trying smile on the other girls face. Even managed to send one back.

It would be forgotten, at least for the moment. At least until tomorrow. They retreated, walking side by side, and heading straight for their own respective bedrooms when they reached the cabin again. Dodging the stares Elizabeth sent their way. Only wanting to shelter oneself for the night.

They laid in each their bed, not divided with as much distance as it felt. Not as much walls as it felt. Both their heads swirled with thoughts, more flustered than other nights. One thought appearing more than the others; it could never be them.

There was just one thing Emily hadn't counted on. Naomi was a serious girl. And a serious girl, when she finds someone who calms her spirit and quiets her busy thoughts, will love you so fiercely, it will defy even her own logic and reasoning.

In the other room, Naomi was replaying those moments of peace with Emily under their tree. Brown eyes would haunt her that night, like many others.


End file.
